Thursday, June 23, 2011
I've lost almost all of my vacation weight in the last few days, and someone asked me what it feels like to be melting. Honestly, losing 8 mostly water pounds in 3 days feels like peeing. A lot. Frequently. It's good to be back where I was, and I knew it was largely water, but it is such a relief to be right about it, I'm so happy to be getting back to where I was and start moving forward again.
Losing weight feels like so many different things wrapped up in one package. I actually have moments of fear, where this sick part of me deep inside actually fears being thin. But mostly, I'm elated. WOOT WOOT, happy happy joy joy, jump up and down inside happy. Not pee my pants happy, because that would be stinky and gross, but pretty damn happy.
I feel like this inner amazon Jenn is waking up, and she is saying some really bizarre stuff like "We should go for a run! Let's go kickbox! Let's go hiking! Let's get a hot body and dress up and watch the people checking us out!" I kind of dig Amazon Warrior Jenn, she will really love the introductory fencing classes I bought. She may also like paintball as cardio, which really should be featured on the cardio tracker, and it a heap o' fun.
Losing weight feels like rediscovering an old world, the world of athlete Jenn, but with a newly developed sense of appreciation. I didn't appreciate it the last time when I could just hop in the pool and swim a few miles, or run a few miles, or do whatever without feeling out of breath, etc etc. Why? Because I was 17 and it didn't take that much effort. Some, but not that much. I was a teenager, it was normal to have perky boobs and a flat stomach and people checking out my butt. It would have seemed abnormal not to be athletic. I never even realized I was working hard at having a great body.
This time, I appreciate walking a little faster on the treadmill each week. I appreciate good health and lowering my cancer risk and I'm mature (old) enough to admit that one of the reasons I want to lose a ton of weight is for more acrobatic aerobicized sex. (I'm married, I'm allowed to say that) I also appreciate that I may have done so much damage to my skin that I should be putting 20 bucks a pound into a kitty for the plastic surgery I may need when I get to a healthy weight.
Losing weight also feels like a license to shop for lots and lots of new clothes, and a Vitamix, and a yoga membership, better jog bras, fancy wicking shirts with magic thumbholes (I love thumbholes), some more running shoes, a case of Evian, some special swimming shampoo, super duper squishy socks and lots of other stuff but I can't say any more about that because my husband might find this blog.
So, what does weight loss feel like?
Weight loss feels like freedom to me. If I had to pick a single word to sum it all up, it would be Freedom.
**Freedom to go for a run (that will happen one day, I will go for a run, not a jog, a full-fledged run) without having a massive heart attack and dying on the side of the road clutching my overly ample bosom. I will be like Forrest Gump, the Doobie Brothers will magically start playing "It Keeps You Running" as I effortlessly lope around being a runner type person.
**Freedom to stand in one place for an extended period of time without wanting to chop off my feetuses.
**Freedom to ride any roller coaster I choose because I actually fit into the damn things.
**Freedom to ride on an airplane and not wonder if I've finally slipped over that line that means I will have to ask for a seatbelt extender.
**Freedom to wear a mini skirt (they are a privilege, not a right, you know).
**Freedom to wear running tights in public without making people retch.
**Freedom to do high impact aerobics without needing to double bag Shamu and Orca.
**Freedom to buy clothes that aren't on the color wheel between black and light grey. Seriously, what is it about losing a few ounces that makes us all want to buy brightly colored clothes and get rid of all the black, charcoal, silver, grey, light gray, dark grey and heather grey from our wardrobes?
What does weight loss feel like to you?