Thursday, June 23, 2011
Like honestly right now, I smell. And even after over a year of spark, and working out a lot, I still hate the after effects of sweating, not the effect while you are getting down into it, while you are making muscles burn, or the sensation of sweet, hot sun on your skin. Those sensations I adore. I love the feeling of knowing my body is a machine, and that I can push it a bit farther then I could the week before. I love the feeling you get, when you do something you once thought you couldn't, even if it is something others might take for granted. Something as simple as touching your toes, or being able to almost put your chin on your knee when you are stretching.
But the after effect, like when you don't have the whole BO thing going on, but you do have that sticky kinda sour smell on you. Like you have, I don't know, put in some manual work.
The last two weeks, I haven't really blogged, haven't really felt compelled to, or more then anything, like I didn't have anything positive to say, or anything negative. More like a big ball of apathy which in some cases, leads to bitterness. Or is just a feeling, just a sensation, which doesn't need a lot read into it.
Been super busy. Sometimes I have three extra girls, sometimes, I have five, some days six extra all total. Which means a lot of cleaning, a lot of cooking, a lot of patience, and a lot of pre planning entertainment, so that they stay active and don't get bored. Throw in, two large dogs, and one chinchilla, and a husband who has been working a LOT of hours, and you get insta fun! Then add in a bit of "new house, where drive way isn't done, and then mega three days of rain! Look at the mud and sticky fun!" and bake in three days of indoors, mud being tracked in and out, and a bit of exhaustion on the CEO of such an group, along with a mother who just had major back surgery, and now has a staph infection and you have a general formula for my life right in this instant.
In the last two weeks,
I have worked 6 hours, pushing, pulling and prodding on various cars stuck in the drive even after they were told not to go up it. I have carried my mom down the 600 foot stretch of lovely mud, to her car. I have shot a copper head from my back porch. I have chased down a dog, barefoot through four acres, of sweetly squishy land, and fallen face first right before grabbing him. Bathed him outside before he could go on in, after. I have prepared over 300 meals and snacks, if you count them by portions. I have been up late with one who was sick, been on call for another who was sick in another house. I have cleaned. I have washed more laundry then I thought would be possible, and scrubbed more dishes then normal.
I have doctored a cut in the roof of one daughter's mouth, and laughed (I AM HORRIBLE) when my eldest got stung on the backside by a wasp. I even chuckled when I sunk down in a bit of mud to my knees, and fell face first for the second time this week. I changed a blow out on the side of the highway for someone.
And that's just what I can think of, besides the normal every day stuff that a stay at home mom does. You know, the grocery shopping, cleaning, entertainment providing, counseling, cooking, and being the taxi for those who have places to go. In between sparking and trying to keep my head above water as far as my eating habits go.
I have still been in that major kinda funk. Something mega major happens, and I go "Eh it will be alright, let's see how we can fix it/change it/make it easier to tolerate." I look at the progress I have made and judge it, by where I 'think' I should be, always discounting what I have done so far. Not just with Spark but with my own life. I don't think habits remain far from one realm of your life, or another.
Anyhow! That being said. I did lose five lbs from the first week of BLC. I have stuck to making sure I get in my ten minute increments this week, even if I made everyone zumba with me, in the front room, and they looked at me like I was the Kool-Aid man busting in.
And tomorrow, tomorrow?
I have no kids but my own. (Sounds so weird to type that! I love my little ones who I get the joy of tending to.) But I get to focus on getting the mud picked up, getting these blankets and things washed. I get to sleep in. I do need to run over and check on my Momma at some point and need to sit down and go over the lesson plans for the kids I have next week. (Yeap, I so do the whole we learn even if we aren't in school thing.) And run to the library to pick up a few of the things we will need for that. But for the most part, if I spend the afternoon in the pool at my Moms, or curled up on the couch at home watching total girly movies with my little ones, and eating some air popped pop corn, I am SO not stressing it.
Tonight I think we are going to splurge (gasp!) and go grab something to eat. I wish I could tell you, that I am going to aim for something healthy, something reinitializing fresh. But honestly, if I don't have to cook it, serve it, or have to do the dishes after, I am SO not complaining about what it is.
Devil ain't gonna get my smile.
I used to laugh, when my granny would say that, when everything would go a bit wonky.
But danged if I totally don't understand what she meant by it.
No matter what happens, what funky monkey, act of happiness terrorism happens to me. I am going to keep my joy, laugh it off, shrug those shoulders, and flash the biggest, most brightest smile I can. Because I know something. That tomorrow whatever happened yesterday isn't going to be as painful as it is right now, as hard as it is right now. The day after, it will get a bit better, and by next year? I won't even remember all the details.
Bwahahah! Hope you guys have a FANTASTIC, GREAT, AMAZING day.