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It's all or nothing...

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

It's black. It's white. It's square. It's round. I'm fat. I'm skinny. I am a person who likes everything cut and dry. Spelled out. Neat and tidy. When I was 17 years old I decided I was fat. Looking back now, I realize how stupid that was. I was 5'7" tall and weighed 110 lbs. I decided instead of doing what normal people do and just cut back, I would just eat lettuce, eat a multivitamin and drink diet coke all summer. I lost weight. Big surprise! I got down to 95 lbs and had to sleep with pillows between my knees because they would get bruised overnight. I couldn't lay on my stomach on the floor. I had zero energy. But, did I focus on those things? No, I noticed that the whites of my eyes became much brighter and that the longer I went without eating, the less hungry I got. My mom finally forced me to eat in front of her and threatened me with hospital. So luckily, I was early enough on that it was reversible. But ever since then, I still have that all or nothing attitude.

I joined Sparkpeople with the hopes that I will lose weight in a smart way. No starvation diets and with the support of other people who are also trying their best to get healthy. Right now, my feet are still bothering me. So, I can go for walks, but no running. The exercise I get from that doesn't really seem to be enough and is kind of boring. But I'm too cheap for a gym (that should read lazy I guess) and I am finding that just cutting back on calories is doing almost as much as exercising was doing before. My set back was going to Vegas. Yes, I gained 4 lbs. But I've lost about 2.5 lbs now so that's great!

I get off work at 1:00 pm every day. Quite often (because I'm a shop-a-holic) I don't get home until about 2-3 pm. By that time, it's too late to eat lunch. So I skip it. Then I eat dinner and then I record everything. And suddenly I'm left with extra calories I can eat according to the tracker. I love those days! But it's probably not a healthy way to balance my day. I read something today on MSN that if you sleep more you will lose weight faster. That would be a good idea for me to try I guess.

Anyways, my obsessive nature has me weighing myself every morning (post pee, pre breakfast of course!) and recording all my foods also helps me with my need to be obsessive! But, I am doing this the healthy way. No starvation diets. I truly think that was something that set me up for being fat later in life. My metabolism never did quite recover from that.

Well, I wish you all luck in your weight loss goals! I know I need luck and prayers because this road sure doesn't seem easy!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • ALECIA0823
    I would agree with your self-assessment that skipping lunch and making up those calories in the evening is not a good balance. Once in a while, sure, I like an evening snack, too! :) But everyday is not the best way to keep your metabolism going. Maybe there's some way you can take a healthy lunch with you and work on it at work, or while you're shopping?

    Good luck in your journey!
    2466 days ago
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