Wednesday, June 22, 2011
So last year, I attempted to do a local rock scramble at Bonticou. I was nervous and apprehensive. I got up part way, and realized, I couldn't do it. I started having a panic attack and just couldn't see how I could go any further. I was crying and couldn't move up or down. And then to make things worse (although makes the story better, now), a race came through! Probably about twenty men and women doing a scramble! And I was at a pivotal point and everyone had to go around me! And then, to make it even more mortifying, one of the people towards the last 3/4 was someone I knew!
Several of my friends really love this scramble though, so I was determined to complete it. I don't like feeling like I can't do things.
So, this Monday we made plans to do it again. I was nervous all week, and my friend assured me we could just hike if I didn't want to do it. But I WANT to do it I told her.
We got to the first milestone, the placer where I had a panic attack last year. I can't do this I thought. My friend went up first. My heart was racing and I was incredibly nervous. I faltered a few times, and then just went for it. Once I was going up, it was quick. And painless.
There were a few other rough patches, but once I made it to the top the view was amazing. I am so glad I completed the scramble.
There were a few tough spots on the way down, but the sense of accomplishment is great. I can't wait to do it again and I am sure it will get easier with time.