My Wedding Fears! with illustrations :)

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

So this day 2 weeks will be the day before my wedding....i've got such excited butterflies already, imagine what i'll be like then! I couldn't sleep last night, half from excitement, half from my hip (i overdid hiking and buggered it entirely with a crappy pilates move! am kinda laid up at the mo, hot baths, nsaids and gentle walks...boo!), I logged onto the message board and started reading a thread about wedding fears...i thought i didn't have any but NOW I do!!! So I'm going to purge them all into a blog and be rid of them... can't be letting pesky worries get in my way..its not how I roll..(alwas wanted to say that...lol)....so here goes!!!!


....This really never crossed my mind until last week when we were on our way to meet the planner in the hotel, we ended up gettig stuck in a tailback from a bad car crash. The police began to divert us via the coast road which was great, takes a little longer but very scenic. Great until the smart arses didn't close the entry to the road coming the other way, 2 trucks coming in opposite directions got stuck....the road is about wide enough for one car...its practically a lane! No one could go forward or reverse...we were stuck there for 2 hrs...ironically it only took them about 20 mins to clear the actual route the crash was on! It was fine, our planner understood as we called and let him know.... but oh my god...what happens if we get suck on the wedding day!! Or what if the officiate gets stuck!! short of calling in a hellicopter were screwed!!!


....No offence to Daisy...I mean she was supposed to look like a big fat cow in her photos so she achieved her look perfectly...fair play to daisy the cow....I just hope I look well....and if I dont look well i just hope the photographer is really good at airbrushing, so at least then i can pretend i looked amazing....


....Please don't let me look like an oompa loompa!! I love chocolate but thats taking it to the max! I have my tan trial on thursday so at least I can see how it looks before the big day!


....Ok so for the ceremony there will be 20 people there who will join us for the meal, but in the evening we are having a big party, sent out about 60 invites....please please let people come!! I've done a rough count and think maybe about 40 will be there...which is good!! I should think like my groom...he says theres only one person who he cares about being there...bless him!!....i just presume he means me!


....I live in Ireland...lets be realistic, it rains generally at least once a day! I'd just like to not get soaked getting out of the car and have it dry enough to be able to have pictures outside, having our drinks reception outside would be a big bonus....but mainly i'd like the pretty pictures....but i shall be investing in a giant umberella!!


....Oh god its a really morbid thought, but i have a huge fear one of my family or friends will pass away before my wedding day!!! Its crazy I know!! Come on guys I love you all dont croke on me!


....To say I'm a messy eater is an understatment, my friends often ask how i never managed to learn to eat properly...i often ask myself how did i put on so much weight considering 50% of what i eat winds up on my clothes????? As a rule of thumb i dont wear white...its just not worth it! And the best thing about having a baby means you get to blame the mess on them! If I could just get my hands on a bride bib i'd be laughing!


....I fall over on one of my crazy hikes, break an ankle and wind up hobbling down the aisle on crutches!!


...And I end up looking like a wreck!! recurrent dream at the moment!


...I cry such happy tears and my make up runs everywhere and i end up looking like a not so cute panda!! Every time i think of the big day I well up so can only imagine what i'll be like on the day....but i was the same when i thought about giving birth to eoin, i'd cry at the thought of it, and cry when i see babies born on one every minute, but didn't actually cry when he was born...i guess theres just so much going on.....


...so big that i will have to give t a name...lets say Charlie... and people will gasp with horror as Charlie and I walk down the asile...there probably wont even be eough room for my poor dad... and my fabulous groom will be told he can now kiss the spot....i mean the bride....eeeeekkk!


....We'll both come down with an illness (of your choice) and wont be able to enjoy our day


...I know he is kind dreading the big day....its more for me than him but I hope he enjoys it too...I'm gonna get him a little hip flask that he can sip on the sly to calm his nerves...

I'm sure I'll add to this over the coming days!!!

until then....I have a million tasks to do and better get my ass off spark and do them!!
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  • KBORTY26
    This was hilarious! I hope none of this happens to you and I'm sure your wedding will be amazing!
    2461 days ago
    Hi! I laughed out loud at this! Don't worry about anything. Everyone will show up and they will all love it- everyone loves a day out. Just enjoy the day. Good advice from randomly-honest above especially about the tan-don't do it! Embrace your whiteness -it always looks better than fake tan!! However good it may look on the day when it starts to peel off in unsightly patches it does not look good!
    2464 days ago
    2464 days ago
    Don't worry! You are going to be gorgeous on your wedding day! Try to relax and do some fun things outside of the planning. I'm so excited for you.
    2465 days ago
    Wow, those are some fears!

    GETTING STUCK IN TRAFFIC - Leave yourself plenty of time to get there early, and recommend that the officiant plan on showing up early, too.

    I LOOK LIKE A BIG FAT COW IN MY PHOTOS - Take it from a woman who was tipping 200 at her wedding: everyone looks beautiful on their wedding day. Well, maybe not women that dress all trashy or intentionally look crazy, but all normal women look beautiful, if only because of the big smile plastered on their faces all day long. And if you do catch a photo at a bad angle, you can just get rid of that photo. Just because they snapped it doesn't mean it has to go in the album.

    MY TAN IS ORANGE - Can't help here since I've never done fake tans (I accept my whiteness, lol), but I imagine as long as you didn't book the cheapest place in town, you're probably okay.

    NO ONE COMES TO THE RECEPTION - Is is free food and an open bar? People will come.

    IT RAINS - Hey, it's good luck!

    SOMEONE DIES BEFORE THE BIG DAY - Make sure no one stops taking their medication or tries to cross a major highway in the next 2 weeks.

    I SPILL FOOD ON MY DRESS - Bring a bleach pen, only drink white wine, and avoid tomato sauce. You only get about 30 seconds to eat anyway.

    I BREAK A LEG - Stick to flat roads, don't go skiing, and avoid uneven pavement.

    MY HAIRDRESSER DOESN'T SHOW UP - I'm sure you can enlist a female friend/relative in a pinch.

    MY MASCARA RUNS - Buy waterproof mascara, and take discreet bathroom breaks after crying to check for runs.

    I WILL HAVE A GIGANTIC SPOT - An ice cube and tea tree oil is supposed to be able to zap one the morning of.

    COUGHS COLDS OR FLU AND OTHER NASTIES - Drink plenty of orange juice and take your multi-vitamins

    NERVOUS GROOM - Sounds like this is the least likely of your problems, but if needed, enlist a friend/relative to "escort" him to the ceremony (preferably someone with martial arts or wrestling background).

    See, nothing to worry about!! emoticon
    2465 days ago
    Hoping you will have a lovely day.
    2465 days ago
    emoticon Very good! You'll be gorgeous and serene and princessy don't worry! Everyone will gush about how great you look and your husband will be dazzled. Don't stress to much about the rain, you'll definitely get lovely photos indoors just make sure you have plenty of umbrellas on hand and people to help you lift the dress outta any mud. But since it is Ireland its likely to stop raining at least for a while during several points of the day so all will not be lost. But most of all just enjoy yourself!! Its your big day!...and errrr...your husbands...a little bit emoticon
    2465 days ago
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