This is a personal, honest & much needed blog I feel for me to get out....
WHY, WHY, WHY, WHY!!!! I truly must admit that being addicted to food is officially worse than being addicted to drugs. Yes, I said it b/c I will always need food to survive & you don't need CRACK or METH to survive. However, there will always be some Christmas, Birthday, or Work party to attend & guess what food temptation will always be there. I won't say that getting off drugs isn't hard for people had to overcome or kick the habit but how do you kick not eating??????
I mean I will ALWAYS need to eat to live. It's always much easier said than done. Eating the wrong foods will destroy your life & those who love you lives also in the process. It's like watching a speeding TRAIN coming towards you & you think you can cross over the railroad tracks before it comes; this is how I feel about being addicted to food. You see the weight gain is taking over your joints, your breathing, clogging your arteries, problems with high blood pressure & sugar but yet you continue to eat the foods that are slowly killing you, slowly eating us away. Our friends & family sit back & watch us destroy our bodies, we put on a front that we will ONE DAY LOSE THE WEIGHT!!! Well my ONE DAY has been over a year now!!! Honestly I may not have too many ONE MORE DAYS left before my body says "NO MORE DAYS!!"
It's like I am always finding myself thinking about food, I CAN'T STOP Thinking of FOOD!! What will be for lunch or dinner, or my next snack. It's like the thought of FOOD consumes my life & it's like the bigger I get the more it consumes me & this is not the life I want to live forever. I can truly see how people can weigh 400 or 500 pounds b/c it had to have started with the same thinking pattern I am dealing with. I mean I have gained 45 pounds in less than a year which I used to think would be unheard of but its not, when you have thrown in the towel, stopped exercising & just let food consume you.
I spent the weekend shopping for clothes b/c I have gained weight again leading to increased clothing sizes!!! I needed some more clothes for work b/c I am just gaining & can't fit clothes that I bought just a month ago, so I know I have a SERIOUS PROBLEM!! I mean that is ridiculous, to go up a whole size in a month!! So I know I must get serious about trying to lose weight b/c I can't keep buying clothes the next size up!! I spent over 2 hours looking for something to wear on Saturday & was damn near in tears
b/c I hated the way everything looked I tried on. I know something has got to give.
I am unhappy with the way weight has taken over my life. I need to get a grip BUT CAN'T seem to find the grasp to make the changes that are needed. My face looks soooooo pudgey & soooo round. Living this life just isn't pleasant or a happy one for me.