Saturday, June 18, 2011
I have been spending the last few weeks kind of in isolation... I actually have around 30k followers on twitter facebook and myspace and I have not posted since the end of May... I have completely shut everything down.... Many of the people who know me look to me for inspiration and motivation.... I have never shared my struggles with them, even in my worst times I have kept it to myself and carried everyone on my back so they do not suffer. I work in the Entertainment & Fashion industry. When I came back from my illness a co worker looked at me and said OMG how devastating ( because of all the weight I had gained.. ) I was then devastated... I spent the last few years avoiding events for that reason, I was ashamed of how I looked and hated myself because I could not fix it.... I would push and push myself to the point of exhaustion... I now realize it is all inside of me... I know I have the strength, I know I am smart enough, I know I am a beautiful person inside and out right now.... I have spent the last few years not appreciating what I already have, not loving who I am, not treating my body with the love I should.... Today I am looking in the mirror and I am going to love MYSELF!!!!!!!