Friday, June 17, 2011
I feel like I have too much to say to be able to focus on just one thing, so please be warned - this may make absolutely no sense, as least not as a complete article. If taken in pieces everything will be as it should.
So, I hit my first plateau and I'm only 7 lbs in. And before anyone says "get out the measuring tape!" I already did, and it's there too...two weeks and nothing except for the same 1.5lbs coming and going and coming and going. Over and Over again. I am still hopeful that it is hormonal...but if every two weeks I'm going to not be able to lose weight I may just end up falling off the wagon, and into a vat of chocolate and cheese and rinse off in a nice Cab Sav. *sigh*
I'm really trying to not focus on the weight, the numbers, the "expectation" that I have. Most of the time I can do it. Most of the time I can remember that I am training my body, not just trying to leave some of it behind (and mostly from my behind...). I've pretty much stuck within my calorie limits - the only days that I have gone over have been days where I am burning more than 600 calories that day. Most days I am getting in my cardio (today was a bust! unless you count walking around home depot and the grocery store...oh and in stalling a ceiling fan). I am still going strong with C25K (W3D2 tomorrow!). And sometimes I can feel good about those "accomplishments" other days, not so much.
Really what that comes down to is the fact that I have nothing to occupy my mind other than what is going on in my home and what is happening with my weight. I seriously need a job. Like BAD. And not just because my savings is dwindling away to nothingness. I need to get out of my house - think about someone else's problem for a while. And while I used to think that I was "hire-able" I feel like I have been lumped into the "over qualified" group of people. I am 28 years old and have worked since my sophomore year in highschool - that is up until I left my job of 7.5 years to go back to school. And now that I want a low level job doing anything, I can't get it. What the duck?! grrrrr, it is so frustrating I don't even know where to begin with explaining it. I feel like a failure plain and simple.
Anyways, enough about that. There is so much more that I would like to say, just have the words to say them, so I wont even try. I have to save that effort for keeping my hands out of the pantry and the fridge.