Day 23!! We are restarting a new 30 Day EPC after this one, so if you have any friends that want to jump on board...invite them! As always, you can be on whatever day of the challenge that you want to be and your goals can be whatever you want. We're just here to motivate and encourage each other :).
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Challenge #12 Description: Today's challenge is about being a leader and is actually inspired by one of you guys! Yesterday, Sandra and I had a really great coaching session! I learned a lot from her, and I think that what she made me realize can really help you guys too. While Sandra was describing her current situation, she explained to me about how her mom doesn't always want to cook healthy meals and how her sister lost 30-40 pounds (which really inspired Sandra), but when her sister stopped...so did Sandra's momentum due to her sister's inspiration. She then explained how the other night she made an extensive grocery list filled with healthy foods and went to her mom, insisting that they were going to buy what's on the list. Because of her persistence, they ended up going to the grocery store and buying everything on that list. Sandra's mom was on board with what Sandra wanted to do when she came up with a game plan, but told her she had to cut up all the fruits and vegetables they had purchased (fair enough! :).
When they got home, Sandra explained to me that (even though they had just spent a lot of money on healthy food) the family still went out to eat an unhealthy meal at a restaurant. Sandra said it was because her mom didn't want to cook. She also explained that (which I get), even though there was plenty of food at home, it wasn't like she was going to sit at home and eat by herself when her family was all going out to eat. I definitely related to this one! I always jump on the opportunity to go out to eat with my family or anyone really...I love eating out, always have. :). When I don't go or reject an invitation, I feel like I'm missing out! haha.
Anyway, I pointed out to Sandra that I saw a leader in her (which I don't think she saw in herself initially) and thought it was so great she was taking charge when it came to creating a healthy list to buy groceries. I explained that it's hard getting people on board with being healthy, but a lot of times it's much easier if you lead by example. I explained to her that when I quit smoking in February 2010, five out of six of my family members were smokers (my youngest brother never started, the rest of us were all smokers). Today (16 months later), only one of six of my family members are smokers and we are all actively trying to get my mom to quit (she's working on it). I told her how I have heard from several of my family members that I served as inspiration for them to quit (of course, it wasn't until I was smoke-free for several months and had proven I could do it..so be patient!). When I first quit, I had to sit in a smokey room or car all the time while they all smoked cigarette after cigarette. Eventually, one by one, each of them quit...with every family member after me serving as more and more inspiration for the next to do so. I did lead the way though, which I believe was a very important step in everyone in my family (besides my mom, who is working on it) quitting smoking.
After telling this story, I pointed out that Sandra had said the reason why she couldn't eat at home is because her mom didn't want to cook anything. I told her that she can take the lead in this situation and learn how to make healthy recipes, telling her that SparkPeople.com has 250,000+. By cooking for her family, not only is she doing something I'm sure her mom will definitely appreciate, she's leading them in the direction of doing the same. Her mom would probably consider cooking more if she saw it was something that Sandra was interested in and if she realized it meant a lot to Sandra. Sandra could show her mom it meant a lot to her by cooking a few meals herself. This would most likely plant a seed (excuse my cheesiness-HA!) that could grow into a bonding experience over cooking healthy meals for Sandra and her mom (and it would also be a very great way to build momentum for BOTH of them).
As far as her losing momentum when her sister stopped losing weight (note: I didn't really get too into this during the session-I had so much to say to her that I got sidetracked a lot as I tend to, haha), she could serve as the same motivation and momentum builder to her sister. If she starts losing weight, SHE could be the leader inspiring her sister to be healthy and make/reach her goals. Could you imagine how great of a feeling that would that be?
I also explained to Sandra how much I used to hate working out by myself. I mean, working out is so much more fun when you have someone to work out with. After months of feeling like I HAD to have someone to work out with me and pretty much being stood up more often than not (haha, let's face it..a lot of our workout buddies say they'll work out and then end up flaking, unfortunately), I decided I was going to approach working out a little bit differently. Since it was causing me to miss my planned workouts (because I'd be waiting around all day for my work out buddy to be ready while they'd keep putting me off hour by hour), I decided it was something I needed to get over. I decided I'd lead myself, I'd do my own workout in the morning and if my workout partner didn't end up flaking...I'd work out twice. No harm...it's a BONUS day :). I would say 3/4 times they end up flaking, so these "bonus" workouts don't happen a lot, but it's a nice way of looking at it!
The point of this story is simple: when you are being your own leader, or not waiting on other people to lead you...you usually get a lot more accomplished and YOU get to be the one who is leading and inspiring other people to lead better lives. What's a better feeling than that??
Now for some questions: do you run into instances where you are waiting for someone to lead you instead of taking charge yourself? It doesn't matter what it has to do with, even though I used being healthy as an example. How often do you think this happens and why do you think this is? Do you wait for others to start planning things? Does this sometimes result in things not getting done at all? How would your life be different if you did take charge and lead by example? How do you think you would feel if you started to take charge and call the shots? What specific things do you think you would be able to accomplish?
If you are someone who has all of this down (we can always be improving!)... do you consider yourself a natural leader? What do you like about being a natural leader? What do you think makes you a leader? What do you think you could do to become a better leader?
Challenge #12 Answer: A lot of my answer is already in the description of this challenge, but let me explain a little bit more. Since I have been a kid, planning and organizing things (creating structure) has always relieved anxiety for me. This most likely has to do with the lack of structure I had growing up, and it has ended up being very beneficial for me (even though at times it seemed to be a huge pain and a lot of work). I think it is a major reason why I am the leader that I am today.
People who know me naturally tend to expect me to be the planner, the one who always makes sure things are running smoothly and that I know exactly what's going on with __ at any given time. I've always been the one who planned ahead and planned in detail. Doing things like requesting off work when the new calendar for the year came out so I could get off every day I wanted (before anyone else would even think to request off), always bringing extra money for events/vacations (because I just know someone is going overspend their budget and have to borrow it..haha, it happens every time), looking out for events before they happen so we can get pre-sale prices/the best deal, and planning transportation so my group will get to ___ in plenty of time are just some of things that I do naturally. It isn't something that is ever asked of me, it is just my personality and relieves the anxiety of, let's say, spending $400 on a cruise but missing our flight (due to being late) and not being able to go on it in the first place. For clarification, that never has happened, haha. Just an example I'm giving (and something I've been worried about in the past when I went on vacation with my family). It also has to do with feeling like I'm in control of myself, something that I'm working on and is most likely the result of my dad being a negative reinforcer while I was growing up (in combination with my stubbornness, hehe).
haha-I always joke with my friend Keri about how people will always be like "relaxxxxx...everything will work out!" during a crisis. I want to say, "everything works out because people like me are doing damage control for the group while people like you are relaxing!" haha. Sure, I may be a little bit more high-strung than most people who are about to go on vacation (or whatever), and maybe some people don't genuinely appreciate what I do as far as planning and organizing...but it's me and definitely something I accept about myself.
Pretty much, the future is always on my mind. While some would argue that living in the moment (because you don't know if you'll be here tomorrow) is best, I prefer to plan ahead. It's just me (though I have been training myself to be more "in the moment" over the last year or so). This is a good quality of a leader, in my opinion. Plus, I love helping people and being a leader allows me to help even more people (because people are coming to ME to help them, I don't always have to find people to help).
As far as becoming a better leader, I do want to consciously focus more on leading by example and not how many people I am leading/helping. People have to WANT to follow your example, forcing them is no way to get your agenda done, no matter how great of an agenda it is. For example, trying to get my mom on board with being healthy (quitting smoking, eating healthy, working out). I also want to get over having to do things with other people and working on being more independent when no one wants to do __ with me. For example, before I started working out by myself all the time (and enjoying it--although not as much as when I'm working out with someone else :)..not having to have someone to work out with me would be something I'd want to work on. If I want to go see a movie and no one else wants to go, who cares? Go anyway! You know? That type of thing..I know my example isn't the greatest. haha. But you get what I'm saying!
Nutrition/giving up coffee – Day 23!!
Fitness/ChaLEAN Extreme – I did my push circuit 2 yesterday..even though I probably shouldn't be lifting heavy..but I needed today to be my rest day because I have to work :).
Chalene Johnson’s 30 Day Challenge, Day 23 Description: What's it going to take to make your workspace work for you?
Realizing your dream requires both a plan and the commitment to follow-through. It also takes a little bit of simple organization. If your workspace is disorganized and cluttered, how can you keep track of what you need to do?
Carve out a designated workspace for yourself if you don't already have one. If you have an office already, consider how it might be modified to reflect your needs. If you like to be in the center of things, set up command central where people tend to congregate. If you need silence, find a corner of a bedroom and make it your own. Think about rearranging a bit if necessary.
Don't be afraid to think outside of the blueprint. Is there a dining room that you've never actually dined in? Hello, new office!
This might be a great thing to ask a supportive friend to help you with if you need a kick-start on organizing.
Spend some time setting yourself up for success by assembling a workspace that will work for you! The time you invest now in organizing will pay off exponentially in efficiency!
Enlist the help of an expert if necessary. If you need help with organizing your stuff, consider Lorie Marrero at clutterdiet.com. If you need help organizing your finances, Dave Ramsey is a great resource.
Consider your work style and learning style. And be sure your office accounts for your preferences. Whether you're running a business or managing your household, set up a place where you can focus and do your best work.
Chalene Johnson’s 30 Day Challenge, Day 23 Answer: I live at home and my mom is seriously nuts about me putting my things pretty much anywhere (I don't even have my own closet). haha. I literally put my clothes in whatever drawers are available, and they are spread out between three rooms in the house. This is going to be a tough one for me, but hopefully by the time this day comes around when I re-do the challenge, I will have figured out a good way to have my own space. :)
One positive thing I did today: I spent extra time on the article today, wrote some for my book, and remained accountable (even though I'm super busy).
One thing thing I'm grateful for: The fact that I am critical thinker-so I am constantly learning stuff about myself and thinking of ways to be able to use that knowledge to help others understand themselves. My whole article on limiting beliefs was thought about today and a lot of the stuff I wrote about, I hadn't even realized. I like that I am finally giving myself a chance to think about what my actions and emotions mean..it makes life so much easier :)