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    POET730   8,985
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I'm like inception I play with your brain so don't sleep or snooze....

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

I知 back.
I知 ridiculously focused.
Because I saw pics of me at my God-son痴 Baptism on Sunday and I was disappointed in what I saw.
Now, I知 not downing myself. I worked hard to drop 26lbs last year.
But then I got lazy or stopped caring.
And 6lbs crept back on (that being the last time I got on a scale sometime in April).
And I started trying to push myself again.
Made (& blogged) an action plan.
Then I moved, then I had to unpack, then I was tired, then it was a day that ended in 惣 and I was more tired and I just wanted to eat everything in sight ice cream, cookies, cake, burgers, chips you know the usual suspects, then I felt fat again and I was tired of feeling fat and tired of being tired but I still didn稚 do anything about it. Every week I promised myself that this would be the last week, that next week I would get back on track. No idea why it has to be on a Monday when I get back on track but that痴 another topic.
And it wasn稚 until I saw those pics that I realized that I had been sabotaging myself big time. That burger is not worth it. The fries, the chips, the ice cream? Nope.
I'm re-instating the plan from last month to extend all the way through summer 2011. I would like to tone up and lose some pounds by July and definitely by September 2011.

I hit the track for some much needed walking. I set a 4 mile goal which is 12 times around the track. Scenery gets pretty boring, even though I am walking under the RFK bridge around sunset. Pushed through it cause I know I can do it.
That was Monday. I felt pretty awesome as I showered, knowing that I would be sore the next day.
Tuesday I woke up feeling sore but refreshed. Popped out of bed (and I haven稚 菟opped out of bed in months. Got ready, rocking out to music. Felt alive. Smile on my face.
Then it started raining in the afternoon. Still feeling jazzed, wanting to start a streak & a streak is not 1 day. Started brainstorming how to cover my hair so I could get in 5 miles yes, 5 miles, 15 times around the boring track.
Got home, feeling optimistic as I watched the sun shine through the clouds. Made and ate my dinner while watching 滴ouse Hunters International & writing in my journal about the situations in my life. Heard the rain on the air conditioner. Started feeling grumpy. Heard the inner dialogue start up (faintly).
Surprised even myself when @ 8:05pm I stepped outside to check how hard it was raining. It wasn稚 raining anymore, though the ground was wet. Went inside, put on bandana to cover my hair (which was in a bun) and left.

The dialogue got louder:
(this is similar to Yoovie痴 dialogue with her lil devil mines looks like a brownie sundae though)

Me 2: You can稚 walk in this, if it rains it will ruin your hair, which looks beautiful btw.

Me: Um, yeah, if it rains then I can always wash my hair & do it again another night.

Me 2: But it takes 2 hours to do your hair. 2 hours!

Me: Ignoring you, don稚 care. Look I知 already here. (time check) here goes.

So I started walking. Music pumping in my ears, feet hitting the track, arms swinging.
Me 2: Fine. You池e here. But you won稚 be here for long.

Me: 鏑a lalalala lalalalalalalalalatonight we gon be it on the floor.

Me 2: You池e getting tired. You池e getting sleepy.

Me: Still ignoring you.

Then the ipod decides to change to a slower song, as if working in cahoots with Me 2.

Me 2: See, this is not walking music. You know, maybe you should just finish this round & go back home.

Me: Hmmm, maybe I should.

Me 2: (smiling broadly) Yes. Then we can have ice-cream.

Me: No, come on. You can do this. You said 15 times, do 15 times.

Me 2: Not this again. Can稚 you feel it in your hips? In your legs? You池e going to be so sore tomorrow.

Me: Yeah

A couple of drops hit my head as I知 rounding the 5th lap.

Me 2: Oh no, it痴 raining! You should go home.

Me: Maybe I値l just do 6 laps tonight.

Me 2: Good idea. I mean, you池e out here, that痴 what counts. Who cares how many miles you do?

Me: (calculating) 6 today, 6 tomorrow, means I have to do 15 for sure on Thursday

Me 2: Yeah, you should definitely just go home, there are more drops falling.

Me: Ok, maybe I値l go home at 9 laps.

Me 2: 9?! Let痴 just go now we池e on 7, that痴 like 1,000 miles or something!

Me: Hmmmm, no. You don稚 call out of work because it痴 raining. This is work. You have to finish.

Me 2: You have got to be kidding me!

I kept going, albeit slowing my pace a little because I was feeling it in my legs/hips and I didn稚 want to hurt myself.

Me: See, this is easy.

Me 2: (yawning) What? Oh yeah, well I think you池e done aren稚 you?

Me: Nope, this is 9 3 to go.

Me 2: But I have to pee.

Me: Yeah so do I.

Me 2: Let痴 just go pee and then we can come back.

Me: (laughing) Nice try. Nope. 3 more times.

And I did it.
I pushed myself beyond what that brownie sundae thought I could do and walked home slowly feeling glorious & victorious.
I want to try & hit 20 miles this week which means I have to take this seriously. I loved the thought that popped in my head 添ou don稚 call out of work because it痴 raining. This is work. You have to finish. Because it was so simple and true. I must go to work to finance my life and I must walk around the track 12 to 15 times because I must put my health first.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

YOOVIE 8/4/2011 12:50PM


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HEAVENSSHADOW 6/15/2011 5:23PM



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TWINKIEQUEEN 6/15/2011 3:11PM

    this is a great blog! your demon sundae is evil, but you overcame it! good for you!

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