Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Okay the exclamation point is not really reflective of how I am feeling but I am trying to be enthusiastic. Perhaps I will actually do this right this time since I am not pumped up with reckless enthusiasm?
I am just tired and determined. This is not going to be easy. It will suck! I will have pain and fatigue and myriad times when I want to sit down and have some chocolate. I will want to cry. My knees will hurt. I will have trouble breathing sometimes. I will get on the scale and be disappointed sometimes.
This is not supposed to be fun. What it is is WORTH IT! Feeling comfortable, secure and healthy is worth all of this. I am removing the words I can't from my vocabulary. If I am going to stop I will have to look in the mirror and tell myself that I won't, not I can't.
So today I am a grump. I have a headache and I wish I didn't have to do this. Oh well - Suck it up! I don't want to but I will. No more I can do this - It's all about I will do this.
One step at a time. 1. Ouch. 2. Ouch. 3 Ouch. etc. . .