Wednesday, June 15, 2011
This will have to be a quickie as I have to get my daughter ready for daycare here soon.
I am 162 this morning for my official Periwinkle weigh-in, which is still 2 pounds down from last week. I had about 2000 calories yesterday, but burned over 1200, so the streak did not start yesterday.
I started emotionally eating yesterday after I got an email from my boss saying that she needed me to come to her office at 3 p.m. today to go over reports, which to me is meaning it will be bad or very bad, not sure which. Bad would be I find out I made mistakes that were stupid, I will be humiliated that I made them, and I will be told to be more meticulous about my work than I thought I was being.
Very bad means that this will be a means to let me go. Our department had a major downsizing over a year ago, and I know that eventually they will need to cut more people. I know that every single one of us is expendable. Today I will find out just how expendable I am.
Although I do have a backup plan (working for Weight Watchers and going back to school, which I plan to do in the future regardless since my career in the medical field really is being phased out little by little), I still love my job and I also love the benefits. My medical and dental are great, and my paid time off is very helpful. Also, being able to work at home has been just nothing short of the best.
So, I started eating. However, I caught myself before my day at work was over, and though I still had dinner (I'm not going to skip a meal) I made sure I had my portion and that was it. I then went to bed at a very good time (8:45). I want to change my behavior of emotional eating and turn it into realizing I can't change what happens, but I can change my reaction, and instead of eating, I need to read a book to calm down, or walk and get fresh air. Something that is healthy and not self-destructive.
Oh, and I went out with the runner's group and ran another 2.5 miles, so I ran almost 5 miles total yesterday. Sure, it was run/walk intervals, but I am proud of myself! I met new people, and one of them was talking about the Body Bugg she got and how she would love to be on the Biggest Loser but she doesn't have enough weight to lose (she is 30 pounds overweight). I mentioned that I actually sent in an application a couple of times. She looked at me with a shocked look on her face and said that I must have had a transformation then. The other girl running with us (who also is named Erin) said that I had a great story and asked me if it was okay for me to say how much I lost. When I said around 130 (sometimes easier to say than 126, and I plan to be at 130 soon), she was very impressed. I forget sometimes how far I have come, and conversations like that remind me.
I also looked in the mirror at the gym this morning, and realized that I am really looking good! I mean, my shoulders are really getting toned, my face is leaning out more, and my hips look smaller. So, when I got home I measured myself, which I haven't done in 3 months, and I have lost another 5 inches, mainly in my waist and hips, which is where I really want to lose it! Yay!!! Also, an inch came off my thighs, another place I am happy to lose it!!!
Oh, so I did spinning for an hour this morning for 21.5 miles. I could tell my legs were tired from everything I did yesterday, so I skipped the half hour on the elliptical I had been planning to do. I will go to the gym tomorrow, but Friday I may take a "rest" day with a lot of walking.
I will probably blog later this afternoon after I find out my fate at work. I am just hoping it is better than I am expecting.
My plans for my meals:
Breakfast: Egg (over easy), Toast, Yogurt, Banana (which I had before the workout).
Snack: Grapes/Bell Peppers
Lunch: Leftover casserole (portioned) which has many veggies in it, chicken, and rice.
Supper: Top Sirloin steak, grilled, with a roasted potato blend/stir fry in olive oil.