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    CURIOUSBIRD   6,100
5,500-6,999 SparkPoints

I didn't mean to quit, but...

Monday, June 13, 2011

I accidentally did.
Oh, okay, I knew what I was doing. emoticon
Anyhow, here's for another try at thinking positively about becoming healthy. emoticon

When I first started on SP the summer of 2009, I was pretty positive about changing my eating and exercise, but I was pushing every other problem in my life under the carpet (or in the case of the ignored bills, into the back of a drawer). At that time, I never talked with anyone about my big problems, including my weight and eating, and having spark people and blogs and everyone here's helpful responses really helped! It was like a first step between saying nothing and talking to someone. So after you guys helped me, I started seeing a counselor about the big anxiety and avoidance, etc. It was so hard to talk to her that I actually physically lost my voice during our appointments!! It was really strange. It's been over a year now and things are much better.
But the thing is, I've stopped thinking about eating healthy and exercising, and I've gained at least 15 more pounds. I want to wear the clothes in my closet instead of having to buy more every six months. I want to get real about body image and know that I can be accepted and loved regardless of my size and shape. And I want to not feel ashamed of myself, but try to become healthy out of love and hope instead. I'm writing this because I hope I can say it to my counselor, because I think it will help to talk about it - but I'm afraid I won't be able to make it come out. I've tried to bring it up for several appointments now and I can't do it. So maybe if I say it here, it will be easier to take the next step and say it out loud!

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
URMYLF 8/10/2011 9:32PM

    I'm so glad you're going to be with us in the next challenge. I think the suggestion to write down all these thoughts for the counselor was a GREAT idea. I'm curious what the result was/if your voice came back?

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MAKONIS1 6/13/2011 8:28PM

    I agree with Missy. Copy what you wrote here on a piece of paper and give it to your counselor as soon as you see her. Don't wait to sit down, just hand it to her immediately, that way she has it and if you can't say it out loud you can have her read it. Don't be afraid, you can do this and the more you talk about it, the easier it will get.

Comment edited on: 6/13/2011 8:29:37 PM

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MISSY0356 6/13/2011 7:05PM

    I too find it much easier to put things in writing than to speak about them, if you can't talk to your counselor, try putting it in a letter. One way or another you have to get it out so you can get the help you need. You can do this!!

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NEVERGIVEUP1969 6/13/2011 4:52PM

    Maybe u could print this out and give it to ur counselor. Sometimes we simply cannot voice things, but writing them and letting someone read it may be the answer!!!


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MJREIMERS 6/13/2011 4:50PM

    Yes! You are thinking and heading in the right direction! It sounds like you are ready for this life changing philosophy that we can healthier lifestyles. Good for you. Hang in there and we'll be rooting for you! emoticon

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