Wednesday, June 08, 2011
Today is the initial weigh in for the Biggest Loser Summer Slim Down challenge. I am on the Sapphire Beauties team with my friend Georgia, and I think it will be a lot of fun!
Our prechallenge was to write a letter to our future self with what we hope to accomplish during this challenge.
I have been thinking about this all week, but wasn't sure what to write. It came to me when I went to post my initial weigh in. I have done several of these kinds of challenges since last fall. However, I have yet to lose any weight. I bounce up and down, but with no real progress. Now I have made lots of progress in the exercise area. I am doing pretty good with that, making time for movement every day. But the eating is definitely way out of control.
Posting my weigh in made me think about my goals for this challenge. I decided that in 10 weeks I would really like to be down to 210, which would mean a loss of 15.8 pounds. Can I do that? Can I really lose about 1.5 pounds a week? And that strikes such a nerve within me, because in order to do that I have to pay attention to what I eat. No, that is not quite true because I pay plenty of attention to food. I have to control what I eat.
There - that is what touches on that nerve, that is what touches such a deep, dark painful place in me. Because I do pay attention to food and what I eat. I eat what I love, what comforts me, what feels sensual to me. Yesterday I was talking to my co-worker, and she was describing some ice cream she had eaten but couldn't remember what kind it was. Well, I knew instantly what it was. I knew she ate Bluebell Mocha Almond Fudge ice cream. And part of me is so embarrassed that I obsess so much over ice cream that I could name it for her.
So this is the change I want to see in myself over the next 10 weeks. I want to take control of what I eat. I will track my food and stick to healthy choices as best as I can, and I won't beat myself up if I make some choices that are not necessarily so healthy. I will exercise portion control. I will make a real attempt to improve the way I eat.
And my real goal, not just a lip-service, write-something-down but-don't-really-believe-it goal, is to lose 15 pounds over the next 10 weeks.