Where did my "Self" go?
Tuesday, June 07, 2011
Yesterday was an odd day for me-I felt fat. It was odd because nothing had changed, not my weight or diet or exercise. I just felt fat.
Not only did I feel fat, but my DH forgot that Monday was our day to walk the course in front of the town Hospital. (They have a special course for walkers/runner with different stations for warming up and stretching). Plus, a storm was brewing and the wind was kicking up along with the distant rumble of thunder. Perfect excuses to not keep up my spark goal-of walking one mile every day!
This time, though, I "talked" to myself. I realized that I am ALWAYS going to have things come up. ALWAYS. When I was younger, I NEVER let obstacles stop me, I kept at it until I made my way past it. Whenever I was pushed, I pushed back harder. I even outwrestled my boyfriend at the time because of the strong will I had!
So yesterday I had to ask "Where did my "Self" go? Surely that strong minded and strong willed person was still in me, somewhere. I had allowed her to get buried, and allowed my spirit to be oppressed and crushed.
But I found her, oh yes I did! I found out that she is still here, wanting to be freed-and her voice is getting louder!
I decided to listen to her last night, and walked my mile. Briskly and with more determination than before! And today? Today I feel much better!
But I've got to go-my "Self" is calling and reminding me that it's time for that walk. And I'm going to listen!