Tuesday, June 07, 2011
Wow! I had an interesting conversation with one of my male cousin, who is more like a brother to me. I really have always felt bad if I did something to disappoint him and all of the males in my family, if I'm completely honest with myself. I had a "relationship" with a guy that he warned me was not good for me for many, many reason. But I had developed a habit of being with this person.
After I listened to the stories of why this person was dangerous to me. I realized that it was not a habit of being with this person but a habit of selling myself short. It was just another reality check that tells me that although, my weight has not changed much over the past year, my self worth has sky rocketed. God is so good and amazing in how he transforms us and we think we are doing one thing (or better yet failing at one thing, i.e. my lack of weight loss). But He is working out something totally different in us. I thank Him on this day for saving me from so many dangerous as I searched to find my self worth. It amazes me because the cousin I mention earlier is a lover of who ever he loves, no matter their size, color, shape, number or children, etc... Why couldn't I look at him and think that someone could actually be like that for me? Someone that loved me just for me, no matter my size, shape or complexion! I get it now, but when I was "dating" the above mention person, I was totally unaware of what exactly I was doing. How could I put myself, my health in harms way for what was always heartache, just to say that somebody wanted me?
Ladies (and gentlemen) Life is too short and it's too much out there that can kill you than to live unhappy in a "relationship" just because you think no one will be with you for whatever the reason. Someone will love you for you, but you have to learn to love you for you first.
Thank you Lord for teaching me to value me as You value me, please give others this same self awareness.