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    ON2VICTORY   47,759
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My first client... My wife :)

Friday, June 03, 2011

I have had to deal with some issues that have left me realizing I have been very selfish, self-absorbed, and over focused. I have been so wrapped up in my own little world that I never realized that my wife was really wanting a training partner.

Being the opposite of the outgoing person that I am (opposites attract ) she really doesnt come right out and ask for things and I am kind of slow to pick up on the non-verbal stuff. I finally got the message and started to figure out what she was needing. After some discussion Finally we found an outlet that she would really enjoy without the impact (she has some issues with her knees and such that can make impact exercise tough). We agreed on cycling.

I opened up the coffers and whatever she needed, she got. All in all, we got a really good bike for about $450.00. She went out on her own and really enjoyed it but she wanted me to come with her next time. My schedule can make it kinda tough but this was worth the effort.

Finally today was the day. Checked the radar and it rained for a brief time then we got an opening to head out. It was A*W*E*S*O*M*E !!. the rain made everything smell incredible. we went down the Heritage Trail. We went at a slow and easy pace past all sorts of incredible smells, apple trees, fresh grass, wild flowers of all kinds, and birds singing. I have been so busy bustin' a move that I have lost touch with this aspect of exercise. its always going further, faster and with more intensity.

The furthest she had gone was around 6 miles, we were going to change that.

It was a great experience. i changed from hubby to coach and she took my coaching seriously. nothing draws out the "inner trainer" like a receptive client. I kept tabs on her heart rate monitor and we went through the proper use of gears on hills etc... and worked the ride in intervals of walking, coasting, and high intensity hill climbs. At around mile 6 i had her stop and we took around 2 minutes to stretch to keep things loose. It was also really an awesome area to be in , the wet woods smell, the pines, flowers etc... I had her just close her eyes and smell deeply, to take in the moment. this is a lesson i learned early on, you draw deep into all of the positive aspects of your workout. the environment around you, sights, sounds , smells, make it a positive association in your mind. that way, associations in your mind are created that links a high intensity workout with something really satisfying rather than a gruelling, fight to the death experience.

It came really naturally, taking on the role of a gentle trainer nurturing a client into a deeper fitness experience. It was a really bonding experience. I wasn't so sure that she would take me seriously because familiarity breeds contempt. it can be tough to be coached by someone who you are too familiar with but she also knows first hand what i have done, how far i have come and how i have both failed and pulled through as well so there is solid credibility.

we have discussed a list of fitness rewards i am going to buy her and so long as she shows effort, there is no expense I will not lay out to make it happen.

Besides completing the marathon this fall, nothing is more important to me than helping her reach her fitness goals this summer. if I can get her to tap into that inner strength that comes from knowing that you can do it, I think her journey will take care of itself, she just needs to lock in on a safe, enjoyable routine and see results.

By the way, we pushed out 8.3 miles in a safe enjoyable manner using an interval method with stretching in about the same time as it took her to do 6. She got more fitness in on this run at an easier pace than if she just pushed until she couldnt go any more...

we also managed to beat the next rainstorm. If we had just judged by the rain and automatically wrote off any outdoor activity, we would have missed this. A goal oriented fitness mindset looks for an opportunity, a leisure mindset looks for a way out and usually finds it. We got in a great workout and if we got a little wet, so what? fat floats and sugar melts. Either way pushing through a little environmental discomfort gives you grit, soggy sneakers come with the training package.

Make it happen, you might surprise yourself.

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
CARROT143 6/15/2011 1:29PM

    I had missed this blog and am so glad I saw it - this is wonderful news for you and your wife. I know for myself that my guy sharing cycling with me is really helping both of us. He is a great coach - if I'd only listen to him...LOL. This is the first step on the road to success for her where she couldn't go before without your help.

Keep up the coaching - I'm hoping she'll see it through too!

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ALLISONSATTIC 6/13/2011 1:41PM

    Loved this blog's not only important to improve yourself, but just as important to see how you can help those close to you too!! You get a big hug for seeing this need in someone close to you!!

Keep up the awesome work your doing...for yourself and others!! emoticon emoticon

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TENISWHIZ 6/11/2011 7:08AM

    I can relate to the part where you wrote about going slower and enjoying the sights and smells of where you are. After a very busy race season last year, I dumped the road bike and took my hybrid out with DH for a leisure ride on a trail. Imagine....cycling for the sheer enjoyment and not to train for a triathlon! What a novel idea! Ha... It was wonderful to cycle for the sheer enjoyment for a CHANGE!

So nice you found an activity you both can share. Enjoy!

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COLUMBINE2 6/10/2011 10:06PM

    I loved your blog and your great experience together. I've never heard of that kind of interaction, but less experienced it! What a gift to each other!

HOWEVER, a phrase really hit me hard. It clearly described my last three years w/ SP and today especially:

'A goal-oriented fitness mindset looks for an opportunity, a leisure mindset looks for a way out and usually finds it. "

Boy, that stung like a gigantic bee. And that's the reason I haven't had the fitness success I yearn for. Today, I planned a dozen ways to cheat and not do my strength training even as I was at the gym doing it!!!! Somehow...I completed the program 100% including pushing to new levels....but it was a fight with myself the whole way.

I wish I'd seen your phrase earlier...I could have saved myself a whole lot of negotiating, threats, promises, anguish and guilt. And I'd comprehend that IF I'm going to succeed, I'll have to internalize a goal-oriented fitness mindset and dump the leisure mindset which looks for and FINDS a way out.

Thanks so much! emoticon

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CATHYHASSPARK 6/10/2011 11:16AM

    Thats great!! My husband started a walking program by himself and wants me to do it with him so we are! but the point is , he told me what he wanted to help himself so we can both reach our health goals

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HAPPY92003 6/8/2011 12:01PM

    I had goosebumps reading your post. My hubby doesn't really like to exercise, but he found something he could do with me (bike riding:) and he is faithful to go with me every weekend that we are able to squeeze it in. That's so very cool that you are sharing the gift of your experience with your wife "gently"...I love it:)

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NIGHTSKYSTAR 6/6/2011 7:50PM

    oh Robert how wonderful!! sounds to me like you are 2 very lucky people to have each other!!! YAY!!

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IMSMILEY88 6/6/2011 11:57AM

    That's wonderful! And, it sounds like a wonderful experience....together! I am happy for you both! I know she'll learn a lot from you & I bet you learn a lot from your first client....or, your wife!

I would love for my hubby to join me on a ride some day!

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IMSMILEY88 6/6/2011 11:51AM

    That's wonderful! And, it sounds like a wonderful experience....together! I am happy for you both! I know she'll learn a lot from you & I bet you learn a lot from your first client....or, your wife!

I would love for my hubby to join me on a ride some day!

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JOPAPGH 6/6/2011 11:09AM

    Nice job! sounds like you will make a great fitness coach!

Not only does familiarity breed contempt, it also breeds trust and comfort.

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PIXIEMOM13 6/6/2011 11:03AM

    That is so beautiful! Reading your entry really brought a smile to my face.

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IFDEEVARUNS2 6/6/2011 10:35AM

    This is wonderful!

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    Fantastic job Coach - I think your found an excellent client.

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ITSHOWYOULIVE 6/5/2011 12:01AM

    Awesome!! What a wonderful day the two of you had together. I believe that you both will have many more wonderful fitness focused days together. Wonderful memories you made on this ride :).

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DAD2GETFIT 6/4/2011 7:31PM

    That sounds great! My DW and I have been exercising together off and on since we started SP and it is really nice. It's nice to fond something you both enjoy.

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CBAILEYC 6/4/2011 9:10AM

    Great blog! WooHoo for both of you!

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MDBUTTERFLY 6/4/2011 8:32AM

    As always Robert, you put a smile on my face Mister!!
I can relate to your wife in that its hard to speak up and ask (altho I have done that here). So glad it went well. What a great way to bond =)
It really is a hard balance between keeping our goals for ourselves/our needs and not being selfish/self absorbed. Its a learning day at a time.
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MIZZSB 6/4/2011 8:24AM

    how awesome is that!!!
wish my partner was that much into exercising LOL...

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KATHY_NATURELVR 6/4/2011 12:07AM

    Aww, how sweet! I went horseback riding years ago and got caught in a hail storm - it was small hail but it still stung. I'd do it again in an instant!

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KERRYG155 6/3/2011 11:11PM


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LKEITHO 6/3/2011 10:35PM

    Sounds like a great ride!

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LOGOULD 6/3/2011 10:23PM

    How wonderful that you can both share in these fitness activities together!!!

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EDWINA172 6/3/2011 10:12PM

    That is awesome Robert! My hubby is my trainer too. You're right about the issues with family or people who are familiar. Things can get a little touchy with us at times, but he can push me to do things I never thought I'd do. Your wife is lucky to have you.

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KRISTIARLINE 6/3/2011 10:09PM

    Men and women communicate so differently; I'm glad you saw what your wife really wanted/needed. It sounds like it was a perfect day for a ride as well. I love that smell of nature that only rain can bring out.

Also, thanks for the comment on my page.

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HINDYPATTI 6/3/2011 9:54PM

    You Rock! Your wife is much blessed to have you on her side! A great love story chapter in the making.

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FUZZYMOTO 6/3/2011 8:21PM

    Awesome. emoticon

Glad you found the time to spend helping your spouse, as it will only help you in the long run too. emoticon

Find a work out buddy in your own house is such a bonus I do envy you that. But I am glad that it is working for the both of you. I for see great things to come for the both of you. emoticon

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DARLENEK04 6/3/2011 8:17PM

    Yes, you need to spend more time with your wife Robert. You can't neglect her
but you can include her on some things that she can do like the cycling.

I got injections in my knees about 4 years ago of a substance called Supartz.
They are still not grinding or giving me trouble, and that is saying something.
This might be something she could discuss with a Rheumatologist. Early onset
Arthritis, or just working on concrete a lot can add to existing problems.

It worked for me. The first product lasted on about 18 months, it was called Synvisc.

Actually is made from Rooster combs into a gel. We had military insurance thankfully,
so I cant really tell you what the cost is, but my knees are doing good.

Now if I could just find an inexpensive bike to ride around the neighborhood.................

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WONDERJUL 6/3/2011 7:32PM

    In addition to certified trainer you are a motivational typist--as always. Good for the two of you to enjoy some time and exercise together. Sounds like a great time. I loved the comparison of the "fitness" mindset and the "leisure" mindset--how true.
Have a great weekend.

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IMIN2GENES 6/3/2011 6:49PM

    I think this has to be one of my favorite blogs! Congrats to you for figuring it out and jumping to her aid! You sound like a really great trainer. Spouse's support is amazing! My hubby joined SP a few weeks after me and it has made a big difference to us both.

Way to go!
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ALOFA0509 6/3/2011 5:55PM

    Awsum Blog!!!!! "familiarity breeds contempt". Totally got that.. I wasn't sure if working out with hubby was such a good idea for us, given his history of Super athlete with Rugby, Football, Judo.. But it worked, we put our "Dan/Rosanne" humor aside and started working out as "Bob/ Jillian" LMAO-- Way to be supportive, and encouraging.. Your Amazing-


Comment edited on: 6/3/2011 5:57:14 PM

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MIMOTOGO 6/3/2011 3:53PM

    Great job Robert! So wonderful that your wife is joining you in your love for exercise. Keep up the great work.

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    This is a wonderful blog, so glad that you were able to read your wife so well. Does your wife have a sparkpage too?

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HOUNDLOVER1 6/3/2011 3:01PM

    Very nice message! As for rewards don't underestimate the power of companionship and just showing her you are proud of her (in addition to the stuff of course emoticon ) and be open to learn from her as well.
My husband and I have started running together and although he is much faster we complement each other. I'm a little more knowledgeable about training technique, equipment and nutrition, he's the much more fit athlete and knows how to do the harder stuff. We are coaching and encouraging each other and it makes both of us feel better about ourselves.

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RUNNER4LIFE08 6/3/2011 2:57PM

    Great ride story! I love taking in deep breaths as I am out in the woods. (Don't really like taking in the bugs though as I am deeply breathing in. LOL)

I love the smell of pine tree forests though so I take it all in when I am running, biking, and hiking.

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JANEMAR2 6/3/2011 2:27PM

    I loved your story.

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LUVMYK9S 6/3/2011 1:59PM

I wish my husband was as supportive of my efforts to get healthier! Not only are you a good trainer, but you are also a great partner!

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PRESBESS 6/3/2011 1:48PM

    I love this blog! It was great to read about your wife's and your awesome day of enjoying God's nature and fitness success! I love some of the various points you made within your blog too! Way cool!


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BLESSED2BEME 6/3/2011 1:39PM

    Does she have a sparkpage so others can encourage her?

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KAMAPERRY 6/3/2011 1:37PM


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KKINNEA 6/3/2011 1:25PM

    This is great! I've been trying to do this a little with my dad - we do daily lunch walks.

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JOYATLAST 6/3/2011 1:23PM

    Great read and significant connections!!!

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