Monday, May 30, 2011
I have been away for almost a year now. I'm still away from home. So much has changed while I've been away. My marriage has fallen apart, I have a new dog to worry about, the house, car, bills, I don't know if I'm going to be greeted with divorce papers, and I'm in the process of changing careers.
In the face of all of this, plus I am finishing a course and still am being assessed and have licensing to do, all I can do is what I have to.
I know that sounds maybe vague. But, there are so many things so far out of my control, and there are so many things that I have to do. Every day is really one step, one task, one day at a time. As often as worrisome thoughts come into my head, I need to focus on the task at hand.
The most difficult task, has proven to be taking care of me. Everything is so up in the air, I know that in the not too distant future I will have to be alone and face myself. I'm not sure how to productively use my down time. I don't really know myself, I'm not really comfortable being alone with me. I've been with myself for 30 years but am horribly uncomfortable alone. Interesting isn't it?
Also interesting, is that when the chips are down, or I feel I need support and inspiration I can always count of sparkpeople to be here. What a wonderful community! I'm looking forward to visiting more often during my quest to get to know myself.