This morning I read a Blog from KARVY09 that she wrote on 5/27.
God that she wrote it.
that I read it! I DID thank her too, but started writing, and realized I needed my own Blog...so here goes!
It's about when the "honeymoon" is over...when the enthusiasm goes and the "everydayness" of this journey sets in.
Tho in my case, I'm not even sure I HAD a honeymoon. Oh, yes, I was very enthusiastic about SP for a while. Over the last almost two years that has come and gone, up and down, like a roller coaster. The same as my participation on SP, and in my Teams. Oh, in the whole thing! Today I want to call it "mess!" and be done with it! I am so wanting IT to be over. "IT" being being too fat, overweight, morbidly obese, too heavy to walk five minutes. I want to be
and I want it NOW!
So, what did I do? I spent the past week...NOT tracking, NOT exercising...well, there you go, it's only been FOUR days! It feels like a lifetime! AND, I talked myself into weighing in this morning...and I gained 4 lbs.
of course, to be expected, I guess.
I say "there you go" because I tend to exaggerate the "bad." Four days and four lbs. isn't so much in the big picture...but then I start thinking "why bother?" "It doesn't work anyway!" So, I went back and checked. The biggest improvement, I guess, is that I'm so conscious of my lifestyle...how often I eat out, eat fast food, don't exercise. You notice I mention the "No's" not the "yeses". (This would be a good thing to change, my self-talk.)
O.K. so the bottom line is that when I joined SP in July, '09 I weighed 320. Today I weighed in at 334.
I have to say, during the two years I've fluxuated, even getting down to 315 once! but that's not good enough! I want to be one of those people who have lost 100 lbs., who loses steadily 2 lbs. a week, who consistently exercises every day...and I'm not any of those things...not one. Oh, on occasion, I do have a good day or even couple of days...but I always go back. For me, it's one step ahead...three or four back.
So, I get tired
like I did this past week, well four days...like I said. Maybe I just need a total meltdown once in a while before I get back on the roller coaster that is my so-called "Journey."
Well, THAT felt good. I feel better now. Maybe I just needed to vent. It's Sunday, and I feel like I can start the week well, with my goals in tact. I went back to January and read my Goals for 2011 and they seem very doable. So, I'm going back to them, back to basics, as it were.