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    EVER-HOPEFUL   130,609
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terrified and up date.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

hi everyone i am back.before i update i will do the terrified part even if it is out of the order of things.the terrified was of my flight home yesturday.i discharged myself out of hospital in walesfor several reasons.the first being the dr had put ayman on antibiotics,my sister was ill and i didnīt want to put more stress on her or leave zakariya in a time when he needed me especially as we werenīt at home and lotfi and his brothers werenīt with us.this was the first time my sister had met him so they didnbīt know each other that well and my sister is totally not use to small children.the second reason was i was in a ward with 4 beds the two oppersite had two old women in it but the bed next to me had a man in it(yes you did read right a man)not only is it against my religion to share the room with him i just wouldnīt have been comfortable there.my dr he said the same and that she wouldnīt have stayed either and she isnīt muslim,lol.the third reason the dr said if they did the test and they came back positive i wouldnīt be allowed to fly.they think that i might have another blood clot in my lung despite me being on blood thinners.my INR was 1,7 and apparently when it is below 2 i have as much chance as everyone else to get a blood clot the dimser test came back unconclusive,so she couldnīt say i have a blood clot but she couldnīt say i havenīt either.this is what happened to me last time it was only after going to neuclear medicine that they found the last blood clots there.anyway the dr double my blood thinners and made mepromise as soon as i got home to make an appointment for the dr which i did.but to make matters worse on monday my sisterīs best friend died from a blod clot on the lungs which really freaked my sister out that i was still planning to fly the next day especially as my dad died from a blood clot on the lungs as well it travelled to his heart and he died.i tried not to let her and the rest of my family know how terrified i really was about the flight.i had talked it over with my husband though and he said we all die when we die it is out of our control no matter what it is written the day we are born and we canīt change that so with that in view and my need to be with my family i took the risk though i was so knackered after and could fast not hold my self straight.had the drs appointment today my IRN work was 3.7 which is a bit high she said we are going to have to try and get it more spot on and has lowered the medication.we are to see how it goes in the next two weeks and if it doesnīt sort itself out i have to go into hospiotal.she has also given me some painkillers for the pains in my right lung.so there is the terrified bit both the dr in england and now my own dr thinks i have the same blood disorder as my sister,because of my blood clots and the fact that i have had three miscarriages and also nearly lost all three of my boys as well.it is rare and called,antiphospholipid antibody syndrome.they have it in the spark A-Z of health.if i do have it it means i will have to have blood thinners for the rest of my life.so ther you have it.

wales was not all bad though.the funeral went well and my brother started speaking to me after 13 years.he stopped speaking to me because i had turned muslim.didnīt even speak to me or stay in the same room as me when my father died and at his funeral.maybe the fact that my brother will be 60 this week might have something to do with his mellowing ,that and my cousin and aunty dieing to near one another.also i got to see a few of my family and friends.

on the bad side i put on 4lbs in weight so it was really a swings and roundabout trip.

at the moment i am waiting to see if the rectadelt is working for zakariya,another ten minutes to go and if it doesnīt work by then i have to phone the ambulance.at least writting this blog kept me sane and stop worrying so much about zakariya.he is sleeping but coughing badly in his sleep breathing is also bad.

thanks for reading and listening as usual.keep smiling,karen emoticon
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SULTANAH 6/1/2011 10:34AM

    As salaamu alaikum dear sister, remember Allaah does not burden us with more than we can handle. I was just reading that in Quran the other day..remember to say Alhumdullilah in all matters..remember once we say we believe we will be tested..make dua for for your family..for some of them it is hard because we choose Islam..I too am a revert and for a while it was hard for some of my family, but now it is okay with them because they see it was a change for the better for me and I became a much nicer person. So remember just ask Allaah for comfort and guidance and Alhumdullilah in all matters..I speak to myself first as I have a lot of family and health issues going on now...

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MUSIC66 5/31/2011 5:51AM

    glad you made it home safely.

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LOVE_ART 5/29/2011 8:18PM

  i just read your post. it is 4 days later, how is your son?
please let me know. inshallah, he is fine, and i pray that you both are in good health inshallah.
i totally agree with your husband, as our religion does say that when death will happen when it is written for us all, however, we are also supposed to fight for our lives, meaning never to give up, which i know you are a fighter, and will never give up. keep up your wonderful positive attitude, it really lifts me up. don't worry about the 4 pounds, whenever i travel i always put on that much, but then when i'm back home, i get it back down. inshallah, everything will settle down.
emoticon

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FATHINSN 5/29/2011 2:20AM

    Oh dear, I hope you will find a way to treat the blood clots, that sounds like a terrifying news to me. InsyaAllah, everything will go well for you, don't give up and tawakkal to Allah.

I'm happy that you and your brother finally speaks to each other. I wish everything's in mend and you have a good relationship with your relatives even if you have different religion with them.

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JFROGDIVA 5/28/2011 10:08AM

    Karen ~ I know that you always put your family & others first, but now is NOT the time!!!! You HAVE to take care of YOU!!!! This is nothing to mess around with!!!! I am so sorry that you have to endure all this stress & aggravation!!!! Hang in there!!!!
Hugzz ~ Jae emoticon emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 5/28/2011 10:10:13 AM

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MILLISMA 5/28/2011 8:47AM

    Karen, so sorry to hear all that you've been through. I am still trying to get caught up and spark but am too far behind. I keep you and your family in my prayers.

hugs....Mary Anne

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PATJ7084 5/27/2011 5:36PM

    you really must start looking after yourself. Taking blood thinners for the rest of your life is ok, I do too because I have a mechanical heart valve. It certainly beats the alternative. Please look after yourself then you will be able to look after the children, who will look after them if you are poorly. So glad your brother is speaking to you although he had no reason not to. Keep well and my prayers are with you and the family emoticon

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JOKR23 5/27/2011 1:30PM

    Oh wow.....what an ordeal you're going through! I am so sorry to hear everything! Hopefully your INR stabilizes, and the medication for Zakiraya starts working! Take care of yourself, and travel safe. Stay strong :)
emoticon

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JCARDINAL 5/27/2011 12:25PM

    Karen, what a nightmare! Hope Zakiraya is feeling better. I have had antiphospholipid syndrome for 18 years now. I found out after 3 miscarriages and was also diagnosed with Lupus at the same time. It's a pain but treatable with blood thinners. Good Luck! emoticon

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SUSIEPH1 5/27/2011 6:39AM

    I am so glad you made it home safely my love, what a terrible time you have had and are going through ....I do so wish someone could do something to help you all ... surely in this day and age they can disolve the clots.. and to have the wee one so sick as well ... you don't get time to rest at all.
Can you get help in the home??
One would think that your doctor could arrange something like that to take some pressure off You ....my love and Prayers are with you and your Family Hugs Susie emoticon emoticon

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DEE797 5/26/2011 5:24PM

    I am so glad you made it home safely. I would have left the hospital as well especially with the room situation. So glad your brother has started talking to you again. Do hope your boys are feeling better soon. Hope the medicine helps you as well. emoticon emoticon

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AHMARROSE 5/26/2011 3:07PM

  alhamdolellah you reach home safely
I will keep you and your family in my duaa
be strong as your husband said everything written , be calm, do a lot of duaa finally try to listen to Qur'an
my heart with you Karen
emoticon
samar

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JUDITH1654 5/26/2011 2:14PM

    Karen, I am praying for a complete manifestation of healing for not only you but all of your family.

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NATTY0488 5/26/2011 9:57AM

    Hang in there!!

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UP2ME_CC 5/26/2011 9:18AM

    You definitely are a pillar of strength! Stay strong.

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FLAME42 5/26/2011 8:42AM

    You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers. You have so many different stress factors and health factors pulling at you all at once. Stay strong, knowing you are being thought of with caring.

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SUSANISBACK 5/26/2011 2:29AM

    Oh Karen..what a nightmare. In England they have stopped mixed wards but obviously Wales has to catch up with them,that is what happens when they each have their own 'government'. So sorry you had that and all the other problems. One good thing if it is what they say at least you will know and if it can be controlled my daily meds that is better than risking all.
Hope Zakiraya is feeling better,such a worry any time but especially when you are away from home.
Pleased your brother has come around and speaking to you again, life really is too short and we are all human beings and should be tolerant to each other
Keep safe emoticon

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PRAIRIECROCUS 5/25/2011 11:34PM

    Prayers and emoticon for you and your family !
Take good care !
emoticon to have you back !

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CHOOSE2LOSE2014 5/25/2011 11:23PM

    Many Prayers and (((((HUGS)))) For you and your family....

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POSITIVELY_EB 5/25/2011 11:09PM

    You and your whole family are in my thoughts and prayers, Karen! emoticon

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MOMS100 5/25/2011 9:06PM

    Oh, Karen, I'm so thankful you made it home all right! I can't imagine men and women being in the same hospital room. Think i would have taken off, too. I pray for you and your family, especially little Zakariya!


Marie emoticon

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LADYSNOWFALL 5/25/2011 8:52PM

    Your husband had some wise words there. I am glad you made it home ok. Keep us updated on the rest! emoticon

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-COURT- 5/25/2011 8:48PM

   
Oh my, what a time you're having. The blood clots sound scary,and running in the family! Glad it is better and that your brother is talking with you. My sister and I still don't speak unless necessary.
My girlfriend is German and married an American. Her family won't speak to her. What's up with people???

I don't get to keep up with everyone on the vikings now, miss you all. How are the boys doing now?

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FITCOFFEEMOM357 5/25/2011 8:15PM

    Now I know why you have been on my mind. God told me to pray for you and I am glad I did.

Please take care.

Love ya

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B-N-ME 5/25/2011 7:59PM

    Karen, You always amaze me! You are a rock of positive energy...oh I am sure there are times you are down, you are tired and you must get discouraged, but you don't let it keep you there! You always seem to get right back up and keep going. You positive attitude, and often use of humour is admirable. You are an encouragement to those around you and a role model of a mom and friend!
I pray your little guy is better soon, and you are back to 100%
Hang in there...brighter days are ahead! emoticon

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MUSIC66 5/25/2011 7:58PM

    hope you feel better soon.

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BUTRFNGRZ 5/25/2011 7:57PM

    Karen, I would have been terrified, too! emoticon But you are one tough cookie and if anyone has a light shining on them it's you! Glad you've made it home safely and that you have a diagnosis - that at least has to be somewhat comforting to put a name to everything. xo

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