Tuesday, May 24, 2011
I am feeling blessed today to be able to be here for my dad as he walks his last journey.
I put my program first when he went onto dialysis and my DH had knee replacement surgery.
I put my program first regardless of life's obstacles put in my path.
Yesterday I put my dad ahead of my program as I try to assist him on his last journey and will take comfort in what feels right, but keep tracking it. Life must go on for us and getting back on track will also give me purpose back in my life when I am left with only the memories.
But for today and the rest of my father's last journey, I will put his needs ahead of my program - he certainly put my needs ahead of his more often than I will ever know.
My dad is not perfect and never was. My dad is human and was the best parent he was able to be - he was raised without a father so everything he did he learned "on the fly."
I didn't always love him ( I have never met a child who didn't hate a parent at some point in life and growing up ) but he has always been my father. One of my "opinions" of him changed when he stopped at the grocery on his way home to purchase "personal items" for me. I was still embarrassed to purchase "personal items" and this man just went in and bought them like it was a quart of milk. Some of life's memories are priceless.
Thank you for being here for me - I hope that by sharing what I am going through right now, maybe someone out there in Spark-Land will find comfort to do whatever needs doing today.
I always hoped I could do whatever needed doing - today I learned that I don't have to hope anymore, today I learned that I can. I can. I can do whatever needs doing today.