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pitty party here i come

Monday, May 23, 2011

today is all wrong. no matter what i say to tim. its all wrong. i can say its a nice pretty day. he;ll say its hailing.i can ask would you like food. he;ll say no you might put something in it. witch is way wrong.
when he gets this way all he wants is a devorce.i guess when you here it anough. its starting to sound like a good idea..
what pisses me off is. a few weeks ago i had over 10;000 dollar in hand. when i had that money he wanted to be my best friend. now that he;s gone thru it. i;m a no good B-TCH.
thats my life. when i have something they need or want. i;m the best. now that i;m busted . its time to throw me away.

only good thing is . i do have another law suit worth 50;000. this time i;m going to buy me a place. so no man can tell me to leave again.funny thing about this is. this is my 2nd home in a short time..he can keep it. i;m going back to california where people there loves me just for me.

i just wish i could stop emoticon emoticon.but again my emoticonis broken. just a couple of weeks ago he wanted us to renew our emoticon,but now i don;t know. hell i;m his 4th wife. and i;m still waiting for my wedding ring,
i just wish he;d check himself back in to mental health. becauase he;s blaming me for him cracking up. but again going by tim its all my fault he;s the way he; is.

i do know one thing i will not stay in a relationship where i;m not wanted.

sorry this is so long. but like i said earlier. i;m dealing with s broken emoticonand i can;t stop emoticon

just got more bad news my coucin has stage 4 cancer in the throat . noy giving him much time to live. whats even worce his wife has cerval cancer. when is this going to stop. i don;t need any more bad news

i guess i feel love is just a myth. i here i love you. but again in the same breath i here your no good. so what is it. am i bad person. or am i a stepping stone. i want to be loved just for me the way i am. i;m not perfect i have faults. why can;t i be loved for faults and all

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
HANOVERLADY 6/10/2011 1:59PM


How are you and Tim doing?

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VXWALL1942 5/24/2011 1:23PM

    Prayers for you Tammy, that Tim may be healed and your heart also.

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ENDUROVET 5/24/2011 12:44PM

    Your post touched my heart... (I just wandered over bcz I wanted to join your Crockpot group!)
But please know you are not alone - I don't post about any of my marital troubles on SP although I have been known to blow off steam re: Ex ;-)
I save that for other places but SP is for ME!

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SUCCESS44 5/24/2011 12:58AM

    I am so sorry. You are a beautiful person, I know it and I hope you know it. You know what is in your heart and what your limits are. Take it one day at a time. I will send prayers and positive thoughts your way.

emoticon emoticon

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GRANDCRACKER 5/24/2011 12:53AM

    i need to clear something up. they are checking for colan cancer tomorrow. he just told me. thats why he;s so grumpy. he was trying to keep it to him self. it just came out. several hours after i wrote this blog.
he is scared to dealth.he thought he was protecting from any more bad news. but he saw that it was hurting me more not knowing emoticon for coming when i needed some one to listen

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    Sounds like he's the one who's no good. Sorry, I don't know either of you; but I'd be pissed off too. And put the 50K in a separate bank account.

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NATPLUMMER 5/23/2011 10:15PM


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JUSTJUSTY 5/23/2011 7:56PM

    This is not a pity party this is a cry for help. I am here, we are all here for you. Find strength in yourself. Love yourself, ask for help. You ARE LOVEABLE! There are so many here that know that, it's time for you to realize it. Email me if you want to talk. emoticon

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GRANDCRACKER 5/23/2011 6:33PM

    ya i;ve thought about that to

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SOFTVELVETEEN 5/23/2011 6:25PM

    You probably dont want to hear this but i think you should take you 50000 and run like the devil is after you if he is treating you like this no wonder he is on his 4th wife you need to keep yourself safe you are important you matter take care of yourself otherwise you will not be able to take care of others

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DISP715 5/23/2011 5:57PM

    Oh Honey, I'm so sorry. I don't know you or your story, but, from your blog I can't help but think that you clearly don't think you are worthy of love and respect. What do you want? What do you think you deserve? Love yourself first, the rest is a piece of cake. Sending you MAJOR hugs!

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