Sunday, May 22, 2011
Last night I wrote that I was content to be in my own skin. I typed without really knowing what my fingers would write, and was surprised at what came out. Comforted. Itís not a state of being I can find in my memory.
Iíve had time to think about this today.. and Iíve come to the conclusion that itís the Spark site (and all the crazy wonderful people itís made of) that have helped me find this space. For the first time in.. I donít even know how long.. I can see possibilities. Options. But more importantly, the potential to act on them. For so long Iíve existed in a haze. No color. No connection. No real belief in anything more.
And now.. Iíve managed to act. Iíve managed consistency for three months. Three months of building-block steps that have helped me say good-bye to at least a few unhealthy habits. A few unhealthy beliefs. A few unhealthy, soul-numbing pounds.
Iíve been able to take control of a part of my life, one small step at a time. And while that particular journey isnít over, it gives me hope Ė tangible hope -- that I can do the same in other parts.
And for all of this, I am grateful. There is a tenuous peace inside of me tonight, and I will savor it while I can.