Saturday, May 21, 2011
Today was supposed to be the Rapture. Now I canít say that I even for one second thought it would really happen, but it did freak me out a bit that I had a dream last night that it happened. Guess what I was left here on earthÖnot a big surprise. I did find myself today close to tears. See the only good I could imagine about the rapture didnít happen.
Donít get me wrong one day after I have lived a very, very, very long life I do expect to die and go to Öwhere ever, but I love life and donít want to leave anytime soon. To me life is like pizzaÖ.even when itís bad itís good. After my dream I couldnít stop thinking about what ifÖwhat if the rapture really happened. Then the next thought (unconsciously) was I could be with you my baby I never got a chance to meet. Now I find myself on the verge of tears and I know they will be coming out Iím just trying hard to contain them until the kids have gone to bed. I canít help but fantasizing ďI was this closeĒ. I miss you so much and I wish I could just hold you just for a minute just to smell you and touch you and count your toes and fingers. I canít help but think that religion has once again let me down. Then I look at my children here on earth with me and I am grateful Iím still here. Iím tornÖ..why is life so damn complicated?