Note to self
Saturday, May 21, 2011
I read a very good blog on what someone would say to their younger self. It really made me think of what my younger self would say to my current self.
Dear Current Self
I couldn't help but notice how much you have changed. It is great to see that with maturity I have lost some of that awkwardness and the tendency to talk first and think later. But did you have to leave so much of yourself behind? Where is that creative person that spent a whole week working on a story about dust bunnies? Even working up a mock genealogy for a family of dust bunnies and created artwork to go with? All for no reason at all just because you got an idea. Now you get an idea and you just let it slide away. Don't let those silly, funny ideas slide away. Don't look at things as how they will benefit anyone. If it makes you smile for even a minute or two then it was a great benefit. I hate to say it but in this way you are turning in to your parents. I expect everyday to hear you utter "What good is that to anyone". Step away from the practicality of things and just embrace the whimsy of creativity.
Where did all the guilt come from? Guilt for things you felt you left undone or unsaid. For roads not taken? You aren't dead yet. Say some things. You are lucky in that almost all of your significant relationships are still intact. Want to let some one know something tell them. Want to try a new thing then try it. Stop wasting time feeling bad about what is over and done with. Move on to making new memories.
When did you get so fearful? Charging in to a new situation use to be your forte? Remember when you traveled across the country to meet internet friends? Yes I realize that experience has taught you that leaping with out looking isn't the best policy but that doesn't mean you should give up leaping all together. Besides taking a new exercise class or joining a running group isn't likely to be a life threatening situation. Maybe a bit embarrassing(like the gas attack during pilates)but it happens. To almost everyone whether they admit it or not. You never use to mind a little embarrassment. You need to get over yourself a bit. No one is thinking about you as much as you think they are.
Go back to enjoying the process of life. Stop viewing it as something to be endured or the meeting of responsibilities. Stop trying to make yourself invisible. Stop worrying about fitting in. You are a unique person with some great gifts. You use to know that and relish it. Go back to that and embrace it. Use the maturity you have gained to handle those people who don't get you. Don't change yourself for them. Life is joyful and fun and amazing. You are limited only by your own fears. Get back out there and declare I AM HERE. I AM Who I AM. TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT.
With love your younger self.
Really having a curly perm for a hairstyle for 8 years. The one thing I really have to say What were you thinking? LOL!!!