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RAYLINSTEPHENS
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Thursday

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Thank you all for your support - Pop decided this morning that he's had enough. I have known it was coming for months now. Dialysis 3X week isn't easy. And taking 15 medicines daily is a chore. Even getting the Fistula was rough on him - 3 surgeries to get it right. He just doesn't "bounce back" anymore.

He decided and I will not fight him. Hospice comes tomorrow to talk and evaluate him. One day at a time. I figure he has time to change his mind until next week - after Monday it will no longer be reversible I fear. He is just always too tired and he misses Mom more every day. He deserves to be able to decide for himself and to leave this world with as much dignity as possible.

I believe in quality of life. Sadly, at 88 he no longer has much quality in life left to him.

Hugs,
Linda
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • v CHRYS13
    Thinking of you always....
    In prayer for you and your Pop emoticon
    1926 days ago
  • v JOEYKTTN
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon Sill sending prayers, for peace & strength.
    ~Jenn
    1927 days ago
  • v BLESSEDGIGI
    You and your dad are in my thoughts and prayers. He is blessed to have such a loving and understanding daughter. emoticon
    1927 days ago
  • v RUFFIT
    You are in my many prayers. Moni emoticon emoticon
    1927 days ago
  • v ANDREWS_MOM
    Prayers & hugs to both you & your father and rest of the family.
    I think about you often.
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1927 days ago
  • v HEALTHY4ME
    So sorry but I do understand where he is coming from. I am waiting for the day dad says that, He will well enough at this time but he too misses mum.
    I know you will enjoy your time and make it all as positive as you can for all of you involved. HUGS
    1927 days ago
  • v NEW-CAZ
    I am so sorry to read this Linda.
    My thoughts are with you hun, treasure the time you have left together.
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1927 days ago
  • v LIBBYFITZ
    emoticon to you and your dad. I am thinking of you at this time. It is so hard as our parents age and decisions have to be made. I so respect you for allowing your dad to have his dignity and decide for himself when he is ready to leave this world. emoticon
    1927 days ago
  • v DIANESMILES
    Sweet Linda, during this very difficult time,,, say ALL you want to say,,, enjoy the little laughter you can, the wisdom your Dad passes on you,, listen to all he tells you,,, tell him all the things YOU want to say. At 88, yes you do get tired hon when the body breaks down, though at the same time, you really don't want to say good bye. You know hon, I am also going though this with Mum, and hospice is being so WONDERFUL to ALL of us with such SUPPORT and LOVING care,

    I wish you nothing but completness. Hold hands hon, hold hands, hug if your both huggy, my Dad and I are very huggy.
    1928 days ago
  • v TUDI4480
    Linda, My thoughts are with you and yours. This poem brought me comfort. I hope it brings comfort to you. I want to thank you for acknowledging and respecting your father's wishes. That is so important in so many ways.

    Gone From My Sight

    I am standing upon the seashore. A ship at my
    side spreads her white sails to the morning breeze
    and starts for the blue ocean. She is an object of
    beauty and strength. I stand and watch her until
    at length she hangs like a speck of white cloud just
    where the sea and sky come to mingle with each other.

    Then someone at my side says: “There, she is gone!”

    “Gone where?”

    Gone from my sight. That is all. She is just as large
    in mast and hull and spar as she was when she left
    my side and she is just as able to bear the load of
    living freight to her destined port.

    Her diminished size is in me, not in her.
    And just at the moment when someone at my side
    says: “There, she is gone!” There are other eyes
    watching her coming, and other voices ready to
    take up the glad shout: “Here she comes!”

    And that is dying.

    -Henry Van Dyke

    emoticon emoticon
    1928 days ago
  • v BLUESKY104
    emoticon to you at this time Linda
    You and your Pop are in my prayers emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1928 days ago
  • v MAWDOT35
    I'm sorry, Linda. I can imagine that he is just tired and worn out. He may feel different on Monday. May God be with you and your Dad during this difficult time.
    Praying,
    Dorothy
    1928 days ago
  • v JERSEYGIRL24
    What a sad position you are in, but I can totally relate. I seriously hope this is not driven primarily by the incontinence, but it sounds like that is not the case.

    What an absolute angel you are, Linda!!! At least you can know that you had two fantastic parents and that you in turn were the best daughter they could have hoped for. I am sitting here on the verge of tears, especially when I think of him missing your mom.

    Love you so much,


    Leslie

    n> emoticon
    emoticon
    1928 days ago
  • v BARNABABY1
    I completely agree with your philosophy and will be thinking of you and your Dad daily! emoticon
    1928 days ago
  • v MSLZZY
    May God be merciful to him in this challenge he faces-hugs!
    1928 days ago
  • v 2PONDS
    Linda, Once again I have to say what a wonderful daughter your are!!!! You respect your Dad's decision but I know how much it hurts you to let him go and lose him!! My thoughts are with you!!!! emoticon to my friend emoticon
    1928 days ago
  • v CLEVERSPIDER
    Sorry to hear that. emoticon
    1928 days ago
  • v DAWNWATERWOMAN
    You are both in my prayers my friend. emoticon
    1928 days ago
  • v KINSBAILE
    I admire your respect for you dad. That's his decision and I feel he's justified. I wouldn't want to do that 3 times a week either. *HUGS*

    I am glad Hospice is coming.

    Hang in there, you're so strong!
    1928 days ago
  • v GRALLEN
    Aw sweetie, my heart goes out to you and your Dad. I agree it needs to ultimately be their decision. My thoughts are with you.
    1928 days ago
  • v MEADSBAY
    A few of my elder care clients, and my beloved MIL, made this decision for themselves.
    What brave people.
    We need to be strong for them.
    Sounds like you know that already.

    emoticon
    1928 days ago
  • v OLDERDANDRT
    emoticon emoticon emoticon I'm here if you just want to talk, my friend. My shoulders are wide that you can lean on.
    1928 days ago
  • v LOPEYP
    emoticon
    1928 days ago
  • v WORKTHEGOAL
    He may not have the quality of life but with your support he can at least have a great amount of dignity.

    emoticon

    Mandy
    10k steps a day
    1928 days ago
  • v FORMYDARLINGS
    Linda , emoticon emoticon emoticon for you and your pop,

    Gini
    1928 days ago
  • v SYLVIALYNN2
    Linda, I know this will be hard on your Dad, you and your family. My prayers will be with you.
    Sylvia
    1928 days ago
  • v MARTY19
    I am very sad to read this, but I love the fact that you are letting him make the choice.
    that has to be so difficult and loving at the same time. My heart is with you.

    Love
    Marty
    1928 days ago
  • v SIMPLELIFE4REAL
    Linda,
    I'm with you on your Dad's right to make such a decision. There comes a time when the quality of life is so diminished. I think my dad would make the same decision if he had the chance...dementia has robbed his life of just about all forms of joy. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Hospice will help provide a death with dignity.
    Hugs,
    Kay
    1928 days ago
  • v SEDONACAT
    Linda,
    I am so sorry and really know what you're going thru since my sis just died in April after going thru everything (treatments) for cancer. Finally, she said "enough". It was hard for her daughter to accept but she had the right to make that decision and be supported in it.
    Deena

    emoticon emoticon
    1928 days ago
  • v BRENDAB1970
    Linda,

    I know what you are going through. I have a good friend of over 30 yrs who I have reconnected with that I found out a couple years ago when we reconnected has been going through dialysis for the past 9-10 yrs so I hope for all the best for you & your family. I know we do not know each other personally but you are in my thoughts & prayers.
    1928 days ago
  • v LORIDREX
    Oh, I nearly burst into tears! My Dad is also 88 years old, and I just tremble at the thought of him passing. He is my step dad, but he's the BEST Dad I could have EVER had! He has heart trouble, and well, *sigh*... you know how it is...I'll be thinking of you, and your Dad, my sweet friend... emoticon
    1928 days ago
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