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    MOSTMOM1   82,543
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Fly Your Freak Flag!

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

With the exception of my rock-solid husband, we have a pretty quirky family. It's not unusual for my daughter to come out of the bathroom wearing a Marie Antoinette wig, or for my son to try and teach his guinea pig how to play xBox. If you've read any of my blogs, you probably realize I'm a bit of a spaz. We believe in flying our freak flags high. But until a couple of weeks ago, I didn't believe in flying my ticker quite as high.

You know what I'm talking about, the weight loss ticker at the bottom of our profiles? At first, I was petrified to display it. Then, I got a little braver and set it to show pounds lost. I thought, "No way will I ever be brave enough to show my actual weight." When I realized we had to post our weight on the team page for the 5% challenge, I started sweating it. You know why? Because I started playing the "am I the biggest person in the room" game. Have you played? I've played for years, especially at the water park. I'd suck it up, pretend like I wasn't actually wearing a swimsuit in public, and say to myself-"Pleasepleasepleaseplea
se, don't let me be the biggest woman here."

Old habits kicked in, and I found myself wandering around SP, checking to see how I stacked up, so to speak. Fortunately, my newfound SparkJedi mind powers helped me see things from an entirely different perspective. Sure, I found plenty of people way smaller than I am. But I also saw awards on their pages--100 lbs., 50 lbs., 20 lbs. lost. I started looking at their before and after pics. (Yes, I'm a full-fledged SparkStalker.) I read the encouraging blogs and the notes people left them. And I finally realized, "A lot of these people have been exactly where I am." And none of them were judging anybody; on the contrary, it was the exact opposite.

It took a while for that to sink in, for me to realize that this really is a safe place to say "those numbers" out loud. And so I did it. I hoisted my ticker on my page, for all to see. And know what? Almost immediately, a team member said we were about the same size and we should race each other. All of sudden, I didn't feel like the embarrassed woman at the water park. I felt like the 9 year old girl on the playground. I'm not ashamed anymore. This is me, where I am, right now, not where I'll be forever.

Don't be afraid to fly your freak flag, to hoist your ticker proudly on your page. The people standing under you are cheering you on; the people next to you are racing, shoulder to shoulder; and the people above you are looking to you for encouragement. So fly, little ticker, long may you wave!


Member Comments About This Blog Post:
ELLIEFAR 5/21/2011 3:38AM

  You're right. I stopped sparking for a couple of months and put on 7lb (aaargh) and I haven't changed my ticker to show this. I should really but it makes me feel a bit like a loser (or should that be gainer) lol. Or maybe I should try and lose that 7lb quickly then I wont have to. Mmmmm

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KINSBAILE 5/20/2011 8:20AM

    Well that's just it! I used to feel the same way but I figured, who cares? I am working on this for me. No one else is going to judge me here and they don't! Thank goodness!!!

You know what's odd now? Going into the stores like Lane Bryant and being the smallest one there!!!!

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MELLIL 5/19/2011 9:40PM

    Yeah... Fly it HIGH! Cuz when all that weight is gone, you are going to be SO PROUD!!! And rightfully so! emoticon

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BABYTUXXY 5/19/2011 9:14PM

    Fly it high! You're an awesome blogger and I think we can all relate! I got to admit I originally set my ticker to show pounds lost because I was ashamed, but not I have it set to show pounds lost because I'm so proud!!! We're all in this together and together we can do it!

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RESULTS361AP09 5/19/2011 6:33PM

    Fantastic blog!! Thanks for sharing your "freak" with us! Keep up the good work.

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PSALM42 5/19/2011 3:00PM

    You always make me laugh!

We're a bit quirky too. Most kids will sing you "Old MacDonald" or "Twinkle little star" My almost-four-year-old son today said "I'm going to sing you a song..." and he starts up a Zac Brown band song- not even at the beginning of the corus (Chicken fried) but at "Cold beer on a friday night" on repeat. emoticon

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SETAGOAL1 5/19/2011 12:47PM


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    You go girl! emoticon

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DOLPHINLADY05 5/19/2011 9:17AM

    Shellie, I love this blog... We at at our house are on the frequent freak flag flyer program too, hehehehehe!! I for one am very proud of you for changing that ticker and facing that fear. It's scary but sheesh it feels good when you realize you've done the right things for yourself and to recognize that we are all in similar boats with very similar goals. I love coming to SP knowing that I can be honest with myself and with my friends here and all of you still give me the support, help, understanding and encouragement I need on a daily basis to keep going and to keep learning how to make the best choices out there for me.

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LOLAS-G 5/19/2011 7:36AM

    You go girl! I have been coming to the realization that people knew I was really fat even without me saying the "number".

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MADZOE 5/19/2011 1:37AM

    I remember this moment too. My friend Tam AINTSKEERD wrote a blog a long time ago and it talked about honesty. And I realized not only was I not being honest with all of you, but I most certainly wasn't being honest with me. So I went and changed that stupid ticker and now it's there for all to see.

I loved this blog. I'm a Frequent Freak Flag Flyer (FFFF or 4F if you will) myself and wouldn't want it anyother way. I amuse myself on an almost daily basis, and if I can amuse others along the way, well then thata a bonus.

Have a fantastic Thursday.

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IMREITE 5/19/2011 12:35AM

    I wish more people flew their flag, complete with all the quirky stars and the bold stripes.

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KALISWALKER 5/19/2011 12:18AM

    Great blog! In the morning I am taking a load of misc. to the old farm. I will unload boxes, hike, and work. I hope you have good weather and can enjoy some outdoor activities. I wll be back Tues. night.

I have water retention and am chicken to weigh in early, but I will tomorrow - after the great inspiration from your blog!!!

emoticon emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 5/19/2011 12:19:25 AM

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    I am so glad that I met you! And I love your freak flag! Thank you for bringing me a smile tonight when I wanted to cry instead. emoticon

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    I loved this blog! Thank you for sharing and encouraging all of us! I did the whole "just display my current goal (10 or 20 pounds)" thing on my ticker for a while, too... rationalizing that it was for my own motivation to meet "micro goals," but really I just didn't wanna admit where I was. But it turns out putting the actual weight and seeing some progress on it, is more motivational than the other way by far!

Go you! Go A Team!

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BLUESKY104 5/18/2011 11:23PM

    emoticon blog!! Fly that flag proudly!! You can make your goal emoticon emoticon

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ELISOS 5/18/2011 11:12PM

    emoticon blog. emoticon

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WORKOUTWITHPAM 5/18/2011 10:59PM

    BEST WISHES in reaching all of your goals. You CAN do it!

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