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    DANIMYRICK   5,547
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I've lost something important.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

I don't really spend too much time on self-reflection. However, if you are on a journey to a healthier lifestyle, it does help to take a look back and see just how the hell you got here in the first place. In the spirit of that, I spent my walk today wandering the paths of memory, reminiscing about the person I used to be. And it has occurred to me that I have lost something important.

Anyone who has only known me as an adult might be surprised to find that I used to dance. A lot. Dance classes, recitals, and time spent dancing at the Renaissance Festival with a troupe when I was younger and then dances in junior high and high school, not to include the radio-blasting gyrations I did just doing my daily chores. I've always been shy, socially awkward even, to be honest, but for some reason I had the ability to slip out of that while the music played, leave my natural inclination to blend into the walls behind and just move. Something inside me craved that freeing experience, the laying down of burdens, letting my mind go and my body take over. For just a little while, I was happy and carefree.

Now comes years of bodily neglect, weak asthmatic lungs, deconditioned muscles, a smothering layer of fat, and fatigue brought on by eating all the wrong things and none of the right. It makes me wonder. Will I ever find that free-spirited girl again who could shed her inhibitions when the music played?

Honestly, I don't think so. She's gone.

However, I still stand a chance of finding the woman she should have grown into. And she is someone I really want to meet.

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
KAYWEB555 5/18/2011 7:25PM

    Let her FREE turn the music up and close the blinds Let her come out and join you in a wonderful surprised dance of the inner spirit ! Then please tell us how it was the two of you dancing around that living area with just the right music playing your song !

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MEAGANNAOMI 5/17/2011 9:40PM

    It's okay to mourn the things we've lost. I think you might be surprised that she's not so very far away from you as you think though. You have her in your memory and as you've said you can still meet the woman she should have grown into, only she'll be slightly more world wise and tougher than she might otherwise have been.

Self-reflection isn't suuuch a bad thing, though emotionally trying.

*hugs* I'm here if you need a chat! emoticon

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STORMYZCAT 5/17/2011 9:37PM

    All you have to do is turn on the music. Start there..the rest will come! You can do it! She just wrote that she is trying to come out and "play"! emoticon

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