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    NYXWOLFWALKER   137,504
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Rest in Peace

Monday, May 16, 2011

Well its been a hard weekend and an end of a hard week in general.

Thursday May 12th 2011, I was forced to take Griff to the vet and have him sleep the final sleep.



I didn't wont him to go, I didn't wont to agree with the vet that it was time and in short I didn't wont to say goodbye to a companion who has been there though thick and thin in my life.

But it was time, it wasn't right to let him continue trying to please me and to be at my side at all costs. His spleen had ruptured and he was bleeding out, though he was trying to keep up with me and be as close to me as he could get - I had to agree that it was time. I could have taken him home pumped him full of medication and have him go to sleep here at home and not wake up the next morning or if he did be in worse shape then he already was in.

I admit to crying, tears streaming down my face and having a really hard time of talking. I knew this day would come, we'd been told in february that it would happen, she didn't know when but that we'd know when it was time www.sparkpeople.com/mypa
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Taking him in knowing that he might not be coming back home with us, was so blasted hard to do. Holding him while the vet gave him something to help him sleep was even harder and once he was asleep her putting the last shot into him, just hurt me straight though the heart. Holding him, talking to him telling him how much I loved him and everything, crying and all.

So starts my journey without my companion at my side, he's been right there for a decade my shadow, my muse and in short my child. Its not been easy the past several days, I've put most of his stuff away into storage awaiting the next pup when ever we're to get one (my folks right now, are against getting another pup, so for now its not happening). Some of the food we have left is getting donated to a local shelter so other's can make use of it.

Well I am trying to think of Griff being with my grandmother and my first pup enjoying all the treats that he can get his paws on and running around with other pups enjoying himself, free of pain, in perfect health and able to see everything again. Its not easy to this of the positives, but I am trying to do so and I know in time it won't hurt so much - its just a matter of time.

Well take care everyone,
Nyx
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BELROSA 5/20/2011 12:02AM

    emoticon Well done for having the courage to put Griff's needs above your own. emoticon It was a hard thing to do, but you will always be able to take solace that you spared him unnecessary discomfort, pain & fear.

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GEMINI-SKY 5/18/2011 7:15AM

    I'm sorry, I couldn't finish reading your blog. I got it from your first few lines.
I'm so sorry for the loss of your Friend and May you both now be at peace.
I have done this before for my pet friends and it never gets easier. Even tho I know it's what was best.
You gave eachother your hearts...Now and always.
OXOX

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AMYMOHIO 5/17/2011 11:36AM

    I am so sorry.. have had to do that a couple times. I know how hard it is. You're in my prayers in this difficult time.

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MOLLIEMAC 5/16/2011 8:14AM

    Nyx, I am truly sorry.

"If It Should Be"

If it should be that I grow weak
And pain should keep me from my sleep,
Then you must do what must be done,
For this last battle cannot be won.

You will be sad, I understand,
Don't let your grief stay your hand,
For this day more than all the rest,
Your love for me must stand the test.

We've had so many happy years,
What is to come can hold no fears,
You'd not want me to suffer so,
The time has come, please let me go.

Take me where my need they'll tend,
And please stay with me until the end,
Hold me firm and speak to me,
Until my eyes no longer see.

I know in time that you will see,
The kindness that you did for me,
Although my tail its last has wagged,
From pain and suffering I've been saved.

Please do not grieve, it must be you
Who had this painful thing to do,
We've been so close, we two, these years,
Don't let your heart hold back its tears.


emoticon

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KIN59VARA 5/16/2011 6:52AM

    emoticon
I understand how hard this is for you. There really isn't words that I can say more than I understand the deep feelings.

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BARCLE 5/16/2011 2:38AM

    My very heartfelt condolences to you - I do actually know exactly what it feels like. My parents had to release their Zoe cat this afternoon. She had/has soooo much personality too - not just a cat just as Griff is not just a dog. I'm really hoping our happy memories help bring us comfort cos it sure hurts soooo much right now emoticon

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