Well its been a hard weekend and an end of a hard week in general.
Thursday May 12th 2011, I was forced to take Griff to the vet and have him sleep the final sleep.
I didn't wont him to go, I didn't wont to agree with the vet that it was time and in short I didn't wont to say goodbye to a companion who has been there though thick and thin in my life.
But it was time, it wasn't right to let him continue trying to please me and to be at my side at all costs. His spleen had ruptured and he was bleeding out, though he was trying to keep up with me and be as close to me as he could get - I had to agree that it was time. I could have taken him home pumped him full of medication and have him go to sleep here at home and not wake up the next morning or if he did be in worse shape then he already was in.
I admit to crying, tears streaming down my face and having a really hard time of talking. I knew this day would come, we'd been told in february that it would happen, she didn't know when but that we'd know when it was time www.sparkpeople.com/mypa
Taking him in knowing that he might not be coming back home with us, was so blasted hard to do. Holding him while the vet gave him something to help him sleep was even harder and once he was asleep her putting the last shot into him, just hurt me straight though the heart. Holding him, talking to him telling him how much I loved him and everything, crying and all.
So starts my journey without my companion at my side, he's been right there for a decade my shadow, my muse and in short my child. Its not been easy the past several days, I've put most of his stuff away into storage awaiting the next pup when ever we're to get one (my folks right now, are against getting another pup, so for now its not happening). Some of the food we have left is getting donated to a local shelter so other's can make use of it.
Well I am trying to think of Griff being with my grandmother and my first pup enjoying all the treats that he can get his paws on and running around with other pups enjoying himself, free of pain, in perfect health and able to see everything again. Its not easy to this of the positives, but I am trying to do so and I know in time it won't hurt so much - its just a matter of time.
Well take care everyone,