Sunday, May 15, 2011
i AM STARTING TO FEEL MORE POSITIVE-I know that my obsession with weight and how |I look really means that there are parts of myself that I do not like at all. And there is no reason for it. I basically would not change who I am deep inside-I am just worried about the outside package I have come in !!
This obsession with weight has not helped me but I feel I had to go there before I could get here to this point. I have tried so hard to change things and have succeeded at many things in my life and now at this age and stage of my life I have accomplished goals I have set for myself-yesterday I took a picture of sunflowers against the background of a nature picture and it is beautiful -I am happy that I can compy the feeling and colours of my favorite artist Van Gogh-I will include it if I don't forget.
I am having to use a cane in the house and finally bought a raised toilet seat so I cAN GET UP OFF THE toilet-I feel slightly unhappy and a little bit shamed by it but that is life.
Waiting for knee surgery is hard and very painful. But I am adapting. When I spoke to the therapist in charge of thejoint replacement clinic he asked me how I could keep such a happy demeanor in spite of the health issues I have faced throughout my life-and I really really had to think about it and well you just keep on going adapting to changes, you laugh a lot and you have friends to cheer you on. So in fact I had an answer-
I am tracking my food most days and I watch what I eat but I have taken away the weigh scale so I am not obsessing over numbers that do not define me. I have been punished enough-so my scale will not track my weight.
I am swimming twice a week because my arthritis is so bad this year that I have had to cut back to this meager workout BUT I STILL DO IT-
i ADDED MY PICTURE OF SUNFLOWERS TO END ON A HAPPY NOTE!!