Facing Reality

Friday, May 13, 2011

So, I thought I was doing OK. My clothes still fit and no one commented that I was gaining weight. Holy smokes was I delusional. I gained 30 pounds from the steroids, the less than strict diet and and a complete lack of fitness.

I GAINED 30 Pounds! Most of it in the past 2 months. I sort of gave up completely when they put me on the week dose of steroids and my face puffed up like a balloon.

I am one of those sad, sick people who LOVE working out. I feel better when I do it. When I injured my knee, I was running 4 miles a day. Now, I am lucky if I can make it 5 minutes into 30 Day Shred without tears rolling down my face from the pain.

But I can't be fat again. I won't be fat again. I started walking a lot the past few months. One of the many perks of working on a Big 10 campus. Mass amounts of space between places. 1/2 mile walks to class from the office. I was forced out of sloth.

I am now working out at the campus gym (apparently I could have been going all of 2011 for free...someone should have told me!) and let me tell you - there are indoor and outdoor pools, every cardio machine possible, weights of every kind and a track. Now, I have no excuse. On a bad day I can just walk the track, I can swim. I can do low impact cardio on a bike or an elliptical. I am getting my body back and I am refusing to accept being fat.

If I lose 45 more pounds (just 15 more than my lowest weight), I will be at an ideal weight for my height. If it takes 6 months or 2 years, I will make it happen.

I have a gym membership now, a Wii and some Jillian Michaels DVDs. I have no excuses. Well, except for the fact that wearing pants and moving is excruciatingly painful. I am going to work at the nutrition, cut back on my Starbucks habit (not so easy when it is across the street from our office and the easiest place to take a quick break!) and work out when I can.

I can do this. I can make this happen.
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    While I haven't been through your struggle, I can relate. My best friend was diagnosed 2 different times with 2 extremely rare and almost unknown diseases (it's now believe the two are related). The first one nearly killed her. Both times, she had to go on pretnazone, which as wonderful as it is, is also extremely harmful. She ended up gaining a huge amount of weight-the levels of pretnazone she needed caused serious water retention and also created extreme appetites...she beat it both times and it now the healthiest she's ever been phsyically...I know how far she had to go to reverse the effects from the drugs, but if she can do it, I know you can do it. Hang in there and take one step at a time!!!! emoticon
    2257 days ago
    good luck you can do this.
    2443 days ago
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