Monday, May 09, 2011
Okay so I was just laying in bed stressing and finally decided the hell with it! I'm putting off sleep another 15 min to write my first blog (for the 2nd time around, lol) so i can get some peace.
I made a goal for myself at the beginning of April when I weighed in at 232 that by the end of May I would be 212 and reward myself with a PT package! (Can't wait!)
So here I am.. 6 weeks later, 217 lbs and 5 lbs left to go. I wouldn't go so far to say the last 15 lbs have been easy but they've had a nice flow. Well for some reason when I start getting around 215-218 is when this gets tough. I don't know what it is, but this weight range has been a stage I've been stuck at for a long time.
Years ago I set out on this journey once before. Christmas of 2008 I weighed in at my high of 260 lbs. A year later I was 212. Then I got into a bad relationship and just stopped focusing on me. A year later after a horrible ending to that relationship I got back on the wagon for a bit.. going from 225 to 214. That 214 was a year ago. I wasn't healed from that relationship and was using my workouts as an escape and coping mechanism. But it only worked for so long before I found other unhealthier ways of coping only to eventually let myself slip right back down that slippery slope. Thus finding myself at 236 a few months ago in Feb.
So it's not so much about the next 5 lbs but what happens after the next 5 lbs. I need to make it through this and past this for ME. I need to find a healthy balance of body, mind and spirit... but one can't be whole without the other two so that's something I'm going to need to put a conscious effort into every single day til i get er down.
But I WILL reach that goal! MORE importantly, I will reach the goal after that and the goal after that and the goal after that.......... I will not stop.
So here's to setting the NEXT goal
Cheers to healthier me and you sparksters!