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    ON2VICTORY   47,759
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When good is no longer good enough..

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Monday, May 09, 2011

I got a chance to spend some time really searching my soul and thinking. I always seem to do my best reflection in front of a campfire or in quiet woods. I pondered lots of things but the main thing that came to me over and over again is WHY???

Why am I stalled out in my weight loss?

Let me give you a little history.....

I was the kid growing up that lived his life a day late and a dollar short. I was out fishing the day God passed out good fortune. Basically, I was the fat kid that people just tolerated, never really had any level of self confidence, didnt date until late high school and even then, had to date someone who lived clear across town. I couldn’t buy a date in my own school. Lots of one sided crushes. I lived in a perpetual state of mediocrity. Below average. Spent a lot of time of the academic dis-honor roll due to my ADHD until I was properly medicated. That helped my self-esteem, I wasn’t good enough until I took a special pill…perfect.

I look at myself now. I was almost 400 lbs when I started this journey. It didn’t take much to see my need. When you have chest pains climbing stairs, when every least little exertion makes you gasp for breath and sweat profusely, when you really feel that you are eating yourself to death and hate yourself for it, its easy to be motivated to make a change for the sole purpose of saving my life.

Thank God that chapter of my life is closed forever. The tomb was sealed at the finish line of my first half marathon. Now to look forward.

I went from that disaster to recently running 15 miles, turning in a decent 5K time, and shaving 7 minutes off my typical 10K time. It would have been more if it was flat and fast. Confidence is high for a successful and fun half marathon next weekend, what could be better??? Losing 100lbs and living this way? I mean REALLY???
That’s THE problem. All I have ever known is average, good enough to get by. When your life is in the toilet, it’s easy to see your need to get back to a normal life.

***What if you see yourself as OK, Normal, or good enough? Where is the push?

Even still 60+ lbs overweight, if you were to compare apples to apples, I can probably leave a lot of guys puking trailside on a distance run if they were equal weight. Not because I’m fast, but because I have endurance. I feel I’m good enough and that is the problem.

I have never been driven by the pursuit of excellence because all I have ever known is average.

Enter the epiphany… I need to totally revamp my mindset. I am good enough in some areas but my weight holds me back from personal greatness. Before I continue, let me define personal greatness....

Personal greatness is NOT:

-An ego inflating experience
-Excessive obsession about personal performance.

To me, personal greatness IS:

-Quiet confidence
-Commitment to excellence
-Never accepting anything less out of yourself than the very best of what you are capable of producing
-To live up to your personal potential, not your mental limitations.

I have only begun to touch the area of my definition of personal greatness. Now that my sense of danger is over, what will I reach for?

I always used to wonder what would motivate someone to train for the Ironman or a Marathon.. now I think I understand. Most people don’t. They think that people who do those things are crazy. These kinds of goals are what you do when good isnt good enough.

A life unchallenged is not worth living at all.

My weight and my attitude keep me trapped in the realm of good enough. There is a world of excellence that I am being held back from. Untrodden frontiers that may never be explored. I need to tap a whole new level of motivation, not running from danger but rather pushing myself to be my best. I might be able to get away with it and not gain but is that going to hold me back from knowing what it is like to have a great marathon time instead of just finishing..good enough…, to know that I am on par with the best. To be an athlete, to live in the realm where good isn’t going to get the job done.

To start expecting more out of myself simply because I am worth the effort. I am capable. I can be that athlete that raises money to fight cancer, the inspiration for someone else to make a change, to live on a whole new level.

Why not?, its my life and the only one that holds me back is me.


Member Comments About This Blog Post:
ACTIVE_AT_60 7/23/2011 9:02PM

    Robert, I hadn't seen this - what a great blog!!!

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WELLNESSME09 5/17/2011 12:27PM

    emoticon blog, very inspirational. I can feel the energy!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SEESTARS 5/16/2011 2:16PM

    I really need to hear this today. Thanks!!

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SANDI521 5/16/2011 6:32AM

    I love the part on personal greatness and pushing ourselves to reach our full potential. We can only really learn about ourselves and grow when we are pushed beyound our comfort zone. Well said. I hope you don't mind but I may barrow a few of those statements for my morning motivators.
Great Job!!!

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WHIPPEACHZ 5/14/2011 8:48PM

    Thank You!

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KRISTIARLINE 5/14/2011 1:28PM

    You have found a universal truth and expressed it well. Thank you for sharing what I've been trying to bring into focus.

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GREENMOUSE 5/14/2011 12:35PM

    You are an inspiration! emoticon

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PENELOPE1959 5/14/2011 12:10PM

  Alot of times ~ Those whom need to take a tiny pill to make things right, have about 10 points against them just for that as medicine is not the best factor for weightloss. It really say's alot for yourself that you have lost the weight that you have and keep up the good work! Your testimony was an inspiration to me.

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SLEANNES66 5/14/2011 9:04AM

    You really have a way with words. I've also been average all my life. You make me want to shoot for the stars. Thanks

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REJ7777 5/13/2011 11:13PM

    emoticon emoticon

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YOUDONTOWNME 5/13/2011 10:55PM


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FUZZYMOTO 5/13/2011 9:02PM

    excelent points. emoticon emoticon

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MONKEYJO10 5/13/2011 7:57PM

    I loved your blog! I have been looking for some motivation and your blogs have helped. Thanks

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REMEMBER2BME 5/13/2011 4:42PM

    Killer blog. Very well said.

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BUTTERFLYBLUE67 5/13/2011 4:13PM

    This has been the best blog I have read thus far. You are such an inspiration to me. I can't wait to get my health back so I can continue my journey.

You are my IRONMAN.

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LADYGWEN25 5/13/2011 3:46PM

    good for you my friend.. GOOD for YOU! It' is easy to settle for mediocrity... It takes greatness to take it that next step forward.

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HAPPY92003 5/13/2011 3:41PM

    "These kinds of goals are what you do when good isn't good enough."

Love it!! I will have to remember this next time someone calls me crazy:)

Another favorite you will like:

"Obsessed is what the lazy call the dedicated!"

Keep pushing are doing an awesome job!!

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KATHLEEN0222 5/13/2011 1:20PM

    You are an inspiration to those just thinking about taking that first step, and those that have been on their journey for years!

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ALICIAT32 5/13/2011 1:14PM

    you're right, always strive for better, that's the only way to improve. Great blog!

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DAISYTERRI 5/13/2011 8:57AM

    I think you are truly one of the best motivators on Spark People! Thank you! And, God Bless You!!!!!!!

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BRANDII13 5/13/2011 8:39AM

    And what is wrong with "Average"??? Be proud of yourself and who you are! You have accomplished things that some people can only dream of! emoticon

Keep up the great work! You are an inspiration to us all!


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    I think the world is better off when we claim and accept our average-ness.

Dare to be Average!!

T emoticon

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JUSTME23421 5/13/2011 1:23AM

  I have just started and your blog is an inspiration.


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DWILCZKO 5/13/2011 12:42AM


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NEWSGIRL2177 5/12/2011 11:25PM

    Wow. I've been wrestling with a concept all week and trying to wrap my head around what I was trying to really get at -- and you summed it up in one sentence. "I need to tap a whole new level of motivation, not running from danger but rather pushing myself to be my best."
Thanks for sharing this well-written blog. I know you'll help many people along the way. Best of luck on your journey!

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CAZADORES 5/12/2011 11:04PM

    Thanks for posting your blog-it resonated with me as well. Good enough has been good enough for me for about a year now-but it's been bugging me! I've achieved the goals I set out for myself, so now what? I feel like I'm standing in my own way!

Now, where did I put that epiphany?

I know it's around here somewhere...I was sure I had it a while back....

Anyway, clearly you're on to something-I'm convinced that you can and will achieve your personal greatness!

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BGGODDESS 5/12/2011 10:32PM

  Love the attitude.

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THEIS58 5/12/2011 8:25PM

    Wonderful observations! emoticon

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BLUELEO26 5/12/2011 7:56PM

    I've just started learning this about myself as well. I never understood why people tell you to set your goals higher then you think you can achieve. Until I did, and I achieved it! It's still a struggle for me to maintain that mind set but I am working on it. Congratulations and good luck!

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SANDEBUE 5/12/2011 5:17PM

    On2Victory.....way to go! emoticon

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MOM2GWEN 5/12/2011 5:13PM

    Now that was a great realization! I'm very happy you had it :) Go get your excellence!!!

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KCNEWF 5/12/2011 4:30PM

    Wow! You are an inspiration. emoticon . Reading this made my day!

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CHANGE4THEBEST 5/12/2011 3:47PM

    Thought provoking and well written. Always a pleasure to read your blogs. emoticon emoticon

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AJ2GETHER 5/12/2011 2:05PM

  It sounds like a marathon is in sight for you ... happy running!!!

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DESERTFLOWERG 5/12/2011 1:15PM

    You have set your new challenge and I think my time to re-set is here too. Thanks for the push.

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RANCHGAL9 5/12/2011 10:23AM

    What a wonderful blog. We are all only limited by what we "think" we can do. How wonderful for you that you have reached inside and have come to understand that it is YOU who can do it and that YOU are worth doing it for. emoticon to you.
The older we get and take time to reflect on our lives, the more I realize that I have to dream BIG. In reading thru your blog, I realize too how fortunate I was to have a Father who always encouraged me to do my best, that good enough was not good enough and that only by expecting the best of myself would I achieve my dreams.
So....congratulations on your life changes emoticon

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IMSMILEY88 5/12/2011 9:33AM

    I read this yesterday & again today. It is very deep! I hope you are able to start pushing for know you are worth the become the best that you can be.

I need to figure out where I personally stand on this. I think my problem has been that, in my life, i've only done things I knew I could excel at! It has limited me. And, now it is affecting me in my races as I'm upset with my 'slow' times instead of being proud of what I've accomplished! I will be thinking about this & what it means for me.

And, you ARE an inspiration to me & so many others! Thanks for sharing your story with us!

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CMHARRISON12 5/12/2011 8:34AM

    Robert, you inspire AGAIN! Thanks! emoticon

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HEIDE69 5/12/2011 8:07AM

    Amazing! Thanks for sharing!!!

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JLEMUS1 5/12/2011 7:57AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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NO_SNOW_BODY 5/12/2011 6:20AM

    That you for sharing, great insight.

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LINDABENEDICT 5/11/2011 11:13PM

    Great blog !!! Thanks !!!!

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WEEZYB7881 5/11/2011 11:07PM

    amazing blog and exactly what I needed to read tonight. thanks so much

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CTTAGENT 5/11/2011 10:55PM

    Congratulations on reflecting to find out where you are coming from. I hope it helps you to get the ball rolling again towards your goal.

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SHERYL_B 5/11/2011 10:39PM

    Great energy!!

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NACHOSMAMA 5/11/2011 9:27PM

    I hear so much of myself in your words. Thank you for posting this.

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POCKETLLAMA1 5/11/2011 9:05PM

    Thank you for sharing!

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SWEETMOMMY41 5/11/2011 8:56PM

  amazing blog! thanks so much for sharing! have a great day!

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SPICYPEACH 5/11/2011 8:10PM

    Thanks for sharing. You gave me new perspective on my life. All I can say is WOW!!!!!!! emoticon

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