Monday, May 09, 2011
So far I am thoroughly enjoying being unemployed. Right now I am sitting on my favorite couch, situated next to a big window on the side of my house. It overlooks a magnificent tree. I have the window open and feel the breeze coming inside. Aaaahhhhh.
Unfortunately, I am only unemployed this week, so I'd better enjoy it while it lasts. Next week I begin private practice. I am really excited to see clients in my own office, on my own terms. Life is good.
I have lost four pounds thanks to increasing my protein this past week and watching my portions. I know a chunk of that is water weight, but it's encouraging. I'm having a hard time today with cravings. My past binges always seemed the most delicious when I had a long, luxurious day at home by myself, and so today the cravings just keep coming up. I'm thinking specifically about my local Italian place, Lil' Ricci's, where they have the most mouth-watering stuffed shells. OMG. It's heaven.
But I haven't eaten yet today, so my body naturally is craving food. I'm gonna do a little experiment right now. I'm going to get up, go make myself some eggs and whole wheat toast, and then come back and see if my cravings are still as powerful.
All right. I feel better! I had my eggs and I no longer feel that I MUST have stuffed shells. I am trying to prove to myself that cravings pass, and they do! I was just hungry, legitimately.
I keep reminding myself, whenever I have the urge to binge, that I WILL have the opportunity to eat the food I'm thinking about. That I can choose to eat or not eat any food, any time. I think part of binging for me is feeling panicky, like I need to eat the food NOW because it might not be there later. So I'm working on that.
And I have no desire to completely eliminate foods from my diet. If I still want stuffed shells next week, I'll probably go get some, and maybe just eat half. I just know that when my cravings are as strong as they were this morning, I wouldn't be able to control myself around those foods.
I think I'm learning...