Friday, May 06, 2011
I wonder why on some days I can remain so focused while meditating. Thoughts come intermittently and I effortlessly acknowledge and let them float away. Other days I have a much harder time with thoughts seeming to fight constantly for my attention. I try to count my breaths and I get lost beyond a couple of numbers. When I come back from whatever trip my conscious mind took me on, I sometimes don't even remember the number I left off at and start all over, only to wander off again. It doesn't appear to be linked to stress. Thoughts don't even make any sense at times. It's like a stream of consciousness. I refer to it as my internal chatter or noise. I actually got caught up in it last night instead of trying to bring my focus back to breathing. For example, at one point Keanu Reeves popped into my head, I don't remember what he was doing but I did ask my conscious "Why Keanu Reeves?" I'm not a big celebrity follower. Then it came to me "The Matrix" My consciousness has a sense of humor I never fully appreciated before.