Monday, May 02, 2011
I guess this is the start of my third week back on Spark and really putting the effort in to lose and be healthy. As I knew it would, it seems to be working. I have lost 4.8 pounds in the past couple weeks, and I am hoping that number increases when I am not as mega-bloated as I am right now.
This is such an odd place for me, the current weight range I am in. I don't know if anyone else has every experienced this, but I swear for my height and body shape, the 10lb difference between 168 and 178 is essentially night and day. Granted, I do tend to put on a lot of muscle in my legs when I am really active, and clearly that changes so much... but geez. At 168 I see pictures of myself and think I actually look SKINNY - at 178, though, I look straight up fat. So teetering between those two numbers for some time has been odd. I am hoping that my current spurt of motivation will drop me out of this zone and into something else.
I mean, I know I am not ACTUALLY skinny at 168... but maybe I would be at 158. Hmmm.
And yes, as a follow up from my previous blog, parties and going out on the weekends is always tripping me up. But as some uf you have commented, those times are not what break you down. This past week was a good example of that. I essentially had "social meals" on Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday and Sunday. Granted, I was much more aware of what I was eating and careful with my calories in anticipation of those meals. So I still managed to lose. I am trying to think about these social meals not as a hindrance to my hard work... but more of a reward.
Honestly, several years ago when I was at my highest weight and exceptionally depressed I dreaded going out at all. Not because of what I would eat, but simply because I was so miserable being so horridly fat. I am trying to get myself to understand that being social and enjoying it is, in part, one of the reasons I work so hard. I want to go out, I want to enjoy the company of my friends. I want to be comfortable enough in my own skin to do that.