Sunday, May 01, 2011
This is what I want for my 25th Birthday - May 2012
I turn 24 in less than 3 weeks. I am still unhappy, still morbidly obese, still abusing my body with food and lack of fitness. It's not what I want for myself and I certainly don't want this for anyone else.
I must grab hold of my goals and force my way one push at a time, until I achieve them. I have set the very large goal of 200 lbs by 25 years old. That's a loss of around 90 lbs NOW I realise this is a big goal but I want to give myself a reason to keep going, to keep moving forward. My weight is not the overall goal it is as the title of this blog suggests, to feel like a million pounds, to feel the best I can.
My nutrition and fitness to be something I constantly work on and actually enjoy, to not shy away from social events because I feel out of place. I really want this for myself, I don't want to feel heavy and have constant illnesses and ailments at 23/4 I have lost the past decade to my destructive behaviour and don't wish to lose another! I want to live my life!
i want to break through my emotional barriers and understand myself. To be true to my beliefs and who I am and want to be.
I can't be in this because of expectation or to please others, because I can't control others reactions, decisions, mistakes, I can only control my own and that's all that matters when it comes down to it.
To achieve my goal of feeling like a million pounds I will be.
* eating regularly throughout the day 3 meals and 3 snacks
* keep my food unprocessed and cooked by me
* measure and weigh food to control my portion sizes as they are very distorted.
* work with my emotions, listen to my body and my head, what are they telling me and why, don't just eat because I assume that's what I should do to feel better, actually look at why I feel the way I do and is there something more productive I can do that will help it.
* exercise regularly for both my physical and emotional needs.
* drink enough water
* learn how to manage my stress, and high emotions with relaxation techniques
* work on getting more and better sleep
* discover and learn why I feel the way I do about myself
* get rid of my harmful negative comments about myself and change them for more positive loving comments.
* constantly push myself, get new challenges and see things through!
* understand that failure is a part of life, I must fail so I can succeed it makes me know that the world will not end if I make a mistake. It will actually make me a better person.
* face my fears and keep facing them
* enjoy life, because it's mine, it's the only one I've got and I don't want to look back and wonder why I hid away when I have so much to give.
I want to be fabulous, I am a good person now, I care a lot about others, I work hard and I am passionate about my career. I always push others to achieve their goals and I must now do the same for myself. I want to feel good inside and out, know I am taking care of myself. That I am reducing my risks of disease and allowing myself to be free, because the best way to describe being fat - is trapped!!! It's perfect for how I feel, I want to break free of it holding me back and just let me be myself and live my life whatever that entails.
by the time I am 25 I Vikki Louise Chandler will feel like a million pounds.
I will fail because I will succeed!!!!