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    ROSETHETELLER   7,841
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(Benign?) Beginnings


Thursday, April 28, 2011

I was browsing through the forums today and came across a really extensive thread entitled "What inspired you...?" I read through a few of the posts, amazed at the many different goals and reasons everyone had for losing the weight. I wanted to post too, and share why I do it. The problem is that 1. I have so many reasons as to why I'm doing this, and my posts would have ended up being longer than The Odyssey, and 2. while some of my reasons are similar to others, some of my others are a little bit different, weirder even, and people probably wouldn't be able to relate to it. So instead I decided to share it with you here. You choose to read it, you'll either be able to relate somewhat or you'll end up with your head tilted to the right with your eyebrow halfway up your forehead.

So let us begin. It'll be long, so you can't say I didn't warn you.

-I'm one of those that can easily ignore how much weight I've gained. I had been doing that throughout my four years in college, just concentrating on my studies and not really paying much mind to the waistline that was slowly expanding, a bubble about to pop. I'd notice it in photos, but I'd ignore it and continue moving forward. I graduated college at 211, having gained 61 pounds. You hear about the freshman 15 a lot. How the hell did I get up to 211!? I started exercising, and dropped down to 180 (Huzzah!), and wanting to drop more, but my magical motivation well began to dry up, and due to a few circumstances I had to stop and gained back half the weight I lost. Me being the silly rabbit that I am, I ignored it again. Then I realized I couldn't blame my dryer for shrinking my jeans anymore.

-My mom had also recently gained some weight, but she has lost most of it, and that I found to be amazing, that she had the motivation to do it. So naturally, I decided I wanted to be her exercise buddy.

-I have a desire to cosplay. For those of you who are not aware of what that means, cosplay (COStume PLAY) is when one dresses up as anime (Japanese cartoon), video game, comic, or cartoon characters.

No, it doesn't only have to be during Halloween. Yes, I'm aware of how dorky it sounds, and how dorky I sound. I don't care.

I've always been too shy to do it, mainly because I've always thought that I wouldn't be able to pull it off because of my weight. I figure if I lose the weight, I'd lose that fear. However, this is not to be confused with me having low self-esteem. I can assure you it's quite high. My main (short-term) goal is to dress up as one of my favorite characters for Halloween. I'm determined to look amazing in it.

-The last straw was when I ended up going to the doctor's office for a check up. Our conversation went something like this:
"You're at a BMI of 33. Do you know what that means?"
"Uh, I'm overweight?"
"You're obese!"
emoticon (my face)

So that kind of knocked me out of my tube socks. In my head, I went "Trader Joe's here I come! Time to grab me a bag of brown rice and quinoa!" which I did end up doing. I later found out my cholesterol was ridiculously high. That kind of punched me in the face even more, considering I'm 24 and supposed to be as healthy as a horse. I got better at eating, but obviously it wasn't enough. I eventually found Sparkpeople, which has worked out so awesome for me so far. Now I'm just eager to get this weight off and actually doing something about it, and not saying "Meh, I'll get to it tomorrow" as I munch on sweet bread and chocolate milk.

It's still a struggle. There's still sweet bread in the kitchen, and I can easily grab a piece and indulge in the sweet sweetness of its sugary goodness. But I'm trying. I'll continue to try. My long-term goal is to get my cholesterol lowered to normal numbers and try to get myself not to pant and wheeze every time I walk up a flight of stairs or up a small hill. And if any future ankle-biters should ever arise in my future, I'm sure that subconsciously they'll be thankful for having a mom who's healthy.
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