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    TWINSMOM0925   2,904
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old news or not...here we go again

Monday, April 25, 2011

7 weeks and I will have my big ass parked on the beaches of the Outer Banks, NC for 7 whole glorious days! Unfortunately, it really will indeed be a BIG ASS! (please excuse my "french"). However, at the risk of sounding like a broken record (even to myself), I gotta started sometime so it might as well be now!

God knows I should have started long, long, LONG ago. Don't know exactly why I haven't started until now...actually what I should say is don't know why I haven't stuck with it...I have actually started a kajillion bajillion million times -- that really is a real number and is hundreds of times less than the times I've "started"...the problem is no matter how good my intentions are or how much I plan meals I've never been able to "stick to the plan" for more than an hour (ok maybe that's a bit of an exageration but the point is I haven't stuck to ANY plan at ANY time).

My excuses range from lack of determination or motivation, but never any lack of frustration at slow (if any) results (even though I know this isn't going to happen overnight). I've used money as an excuse...can't afford to buy the right foods or the right supplements or join the right programs or a gym. Maybe it's just plain laziness or even jealousy of how good other people look or how easy it comes to them (at least it looks easy from where I'm sitting...whether it actually is or not I don't know)

At any rate...as you can see...I'm chock full of excuses and totally lacking in results. Quite frankly I think what I have to do is totally cut myself off from the rest of the world (figuratively speaking of course, because if there's one thing I can't do without in my world, it's people!)

What I mean is I've got to quit making sure my kids have "enough" ... they're big enough and smart enough now to take care of themselves...they're not going to starve and they know where to come for a roof over their heads if they need one. I've got to quit trying to "force feed" Shane the "right foods" for his diabetes...he's definitely big enough to take care of himself and me nagging him about eating foods he says he doesn't like in the first place is not going to help anybody.

I have got to start taking care of ME! Doing what's right for me for myself...not waiting for somebody else to do it for me...cuz nobody's gonna! Allyson asked me this weekend "do you think you CAN be smaller than your daughter? there are plenty of women out that that are ya know." She's 5'1" and weighs probably 120 pounds soaking wet...if that. I'm 5'2" and weigh 204 pounds. Do I think I could weigh less than 120 pounds...I don't know. Would I like to weigh less than 120 pounds? Hell yeah!

So then...the question is what's stopping me? other than all my excuses? Amazingly enough, other than all this extra blubber I'm carrying around, I'm healthy...blood pressure's good, cholesterol's good, heart's in good shape, as far as I know thyroid's good. Have really got nothing to "stress" over...I have a roof over my head, clothes on my back, food in the frig. I have a job that's not going anywhere. My kids are happy and healthy and have never been "in trouble". Money's tight but the bill's are getting paid.

So I ask again...what's stopping me? Other than myself and all my lame excuses...the only answer I can come up with is...NOTHING! So the next question is...what am I waiting for? Again...the only answer I can come up with is...NOTHING!

So...in 7 weeks I may not be the size of a Victoria Secret Angel but come hell or high water I will be on my way to looking like one! Yes Allyson I do think I can be smaller than you...it may take me a while to get there but I'm gonna get there! :)
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