Good afternoon sparkbuddies! Hope you are doing well.
It is not secret to those who know me, I have been struggling. I have been working out and eating within my calorie limits for the most part, no perfectly but consistently. I haven't lost a pound in a month. I fixated on the scale, then ignored the scale, then fixated on it again
I want to see progress and I want to see it on the scale! No one had noticed that I had lost weight and that of course has made me feel even more discouraged. I entertained the give up option and would dismiss it quickly. Failing would be giving up.
Today, I shared with a friend of mine about how frustrated I am with my lack of movement with the scale and how hard I was working out. I shared about how I didn't make my mini weight loss goal for April and how disappointed I was that I couldn't make that little goal. Her response was "maybe you just can't lose the weight, maybe you have lost all you can" I looked at her face and she was not kidding. She then talked about how I have been heavy for so long and yo yo-ing up and down for so long, I may have damaged my metabolism. She said your age is a factor, you are not 20 anymore either. I don't know if that stuff is even true but the fact that she said I probably can't do it really hurt my feelings
I told her that I believed I could do it, that I had to stick it out and just trudge through this rough time and what she said hurt my feelings. I wanted encouragement from her. She then said "Well you can't convince me that you can lose that much weight but it seems like you have convinced yourself you can do it" She said she didn't want me to get my hopes up and then be devastated when I couldn't do it, that she has seen me hurt so much over so many things, she couldn't raise my hopes in this situation.
This conversation really hit me when I got home today. She said that I had convinced myself that I could do it. The thing is, until that moment, I had been hoping others could convince me that it was going to happen when in fact I need to be actively believing I can make my goals and I can do this. What a simple thing to do but it is so hard for me. I have never had success in this area of my life but it doesn't mean I won't have success now.
I thought I need to focus on the good things I am doing and put less emphasis on the scale. So I came home and took my measurements. I was stunned.
I have lost 8 inches in my waist alone since I began this amazing journey in January.
That is progress and it is tangible!
I don't have all this figured out but I do know, I have to keep plugging away at it and I need to be good to myself, be nice to myself. I wouldn't treat a friend badly, I shouldn't do that to me either.
Thank you for listening, I know that I am so slow to learn things and even then, I don't learn them and need you to tell me all over again. Thank you for your patience with me.
I am thankful for you and your support!