Monday, April 18, 2011
What follows below is something I just posted on the Caregivers' team daily chat board. I am still so uncertain as to whether I did the right or wrong thing, keep telling myself I need this, I need time out for myself if I'm to be able to be there for Dad as I need to be. I would appreciate your thoughts on whether or not I have done the right thing...
..Yesterday I took a giant leap of faith, as a result of the constant reminders from my friends of my promise, and at the suggestion of my doctor - I agreed to take 5 days away in early June to fly with two friends (one the niece of the other) to the Gold Coast and have a complete break, go do the theme parks, hopefully catch up with my daughter, grandson and granddaughter one day, and just relax and be 'me' again for a while. This trip originally was scheduled for my birthday October 2009, but Mum was admitted to hospital as her health failed (cancer) so the others took my 'birthday trip', brought back photos and gifts for me. Last year we planned it again, were about to book, and Dad became unwell in the nursing home, and my friends' father was hospitalized with complications from his cancer treatment.
Yesterday, after speaking with nursing home staff, we did it - we booked our trip. Sure, Dad is slowly deteriorating and my friends' father/grandfather is too, but we all NEED to take a break and just relax for a while.
Hoping and praying everything is going to be ok, but I am prepared to fly home at a moment's notice, as are my friends, should something happen. As nursing staff said yesterday, Dad could still be hanging on to life as he is now in 6, 9, 12 months from now. They encouraged me to go while I am able, rather than waiting longer and having more chance of his health deteriorating.
Still trying to convince myself I am doing the right thing - know it mentally, just doubtful emotionally.
...Please, be honest. Am I doing the right thing?