Man, oh man. I knew this month was going to be crazy. I am right in the middle of a four week stretch in crazy town. My work had a huge event on Mon-Wed, which had me up early, gone late and eating whatever seemed to be the best option on the three choice menu. It is hard to explain without sounding like a long grip fest, which I don’t intend to do, but this blog is going to skirt that line pretty close. The event could have been a lot worse and was actually quite enjoyable and I learned a lot, but it was definitely a bit of a derailment of my health track (Hello giant chocolate chip cookie in my lunch!).

That, however I could have survived. Taken my lumps and moved on. But today I instead leave to go have a girls weekend with my best friend. Yes, we are doing a 7.4 mile canyon run (I will get to the insanity of that in a minute), but believe me, we could ruin that easily with one night of drinking and I will be there for two. Of course I can make good decisions and not cave, but even then it is still likely to be a little on the high end.
Then next Tuesday is my husband’s birthday and I am planning to indulge him with whatever he wants to eat, since he is so understanding about going to places that have healthy options that I prefer. And there will be brownies…because he is obsessed with brownies. And then celebrating with friends on Friday, then a concert and hotel stay because Easter Sunday is our 1 year wedding anniversary!! Yay! So excited! That day we will wake up late at the hotel and go to brunch, then church and then his mother’s house for dinner. Then a good friend is in town, who we will likely get together with at least a couple times before we leave early Friday morning to go off to our anniversary trip in California! Again, another: yay!

Ok, I’m just exhausted from writing that down. Again, not trying to be a gripe, because I know how awesome and fun all of that stuff is going to be. But, I am struggling SparkFriends. How am I suppose to manage to go through all of this and enjoy myself without gaining weight and feeling crappy about myself? Whenever I think about it all I am immediately torn between excitement and guilt because I feel like I won’t be able to keep up my fitness. I have already been struggling with major stagnation on the weight loss department, which was baffling last week and now I’m just that much farther behind now and feel like I’m going to just keep gaining little by little in the coming weeks.

And about the run: I will have to let you know how it goes because it should be very interesting. It is 7.4 miles in a canyon at sunset. The race people will only be out there for 105 minutes and then they pack up and you are alone in a canyon in the dark!! We did not read the fine print on this before we signed up, at all! Oh, by the way, just got an email saying there is increased mountain lion activity in the canyon. MOUNTAIN LION!! Ok, well at least it should be pretty and hopefully we keep a few people around us so we can all fight the mountain lion, should there be one! Yeesh!

Just writing this has already made me feel better though. Looking at it all laid out, it is kind of silly. Why do I always just feel like things happen to me and I have to take it? I get to make the choices. No one else. I say what I eat and what I don’t eat. And I drink as much as I’d like and then no more. And I love the feel of a good sweat, so whenever and however I can; I’m going to get in a workout. No more sad sack! This is going to be fun and I don’t need to eat or drink away any guilt that I feel from not being perfect. Perfect is overrated, and doesn’t happen in life. If I want to have awesome memories and experiences (which is the whole point of getting healthy, anyways, right?), why shouldn’t I get to do those along the journey? I’ve lost 30 pounds and that is impressive! I deserve to live life and have fun, and I don’t need to make choices that I know I will regret later, because I’m past all that. Yes, if I want to have a few drinks with my friend, I can do that and I won’t waste anytime feeling upset about it.

I can do this!! I can have fun and be healthy!! It is possible!

I think this will be a good way to prove this to myself before summer hits and I feel like I can’t go to the lake without drinking like crazy and overeating.

Fun and Fitness are Friends!!!

Thanks for reading if you did and I apologize for the long ramble and self-realization. This helps me a lot!!!

I am in control!!

Have a great weekend all =D