Family and Friend comments on your weight
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Alright, so lately I haven't really faced this issue. Especially because I do feel fit and confident these days, BUT I just took a poll on SP and it reminded me of a pet peeve I have. The poll was about whether growing up I witnessed my mother complaining or talking about her weight and I answered Yes, regularly.
Whenever we've gone to visit family who we haven't seen in a while. Someone (usually a woman) points out whether we look "too thin", or if we've gained weight. It's the first thing they say after "hello."
To a certain extent, I can understand it - it's what people have told them for years. It's how they have been greeted and basically [a sick] tradition. BUT DOESN'T ANYONE REALIZE HOW INCREDIBLY RUDE THIS IS?
*side note* - if you comment I'd like to know if you have experienced this and whether it's just a Hispanic thing (I'm Puertorican).
I had this conversation a while back with my mother because she was packing for a trip. For someone who may be feeling a bit insecure (i.e. her) about their appearance, they consider this. For example she has said, "do I look too big in this?" and when I tell her she looks fine/healthy/good - her response is something like, "well I don't care what they say anyway I'm happy with how I look." BUT the mere fact that it crosses someone's mind - that it's a concern before going to see family is evidence enough that it's a form of abuse isn't it? Okay, so abuse may be a strong word - but anyone with serious insecurities, and perhaps an eating disorder will agree it starts small like this.
Right now I would just like to say a prayer for those of you who face this kind of problem. For anyone who doesn't have a complete circle of support. I pray that God helps you to focus on happiness and health rather than numbers on a scale or what others think. I pray that you have the strength and courage to tell someone when they are saying something that hurts your feelings. And I pray that God will give you wisdom and the right words to tell the individual without creating an issue.