My Scale Deserves an X-File
Thursday, April 07, 2011
I had to replace my scale last week. Even replacing the battery didn’t work. I’d hop on and it would tell me I weighed 87 lbs, and the next time it would say 160+ lbs.
I replaced it with a nifty cool Weight Watchers scale that measures weight, body fat, hydration, and bone density. Not that I believe any of those numbers are actually right on….there are so many variables when it comes to an at home gadget like a scale. I simply try to use it as a tool to see if I’m moving in the right direction or not.
I have come to the conclusion that all scales have a conspiracy plot against us humans…come weigh in day, they ALL weigh heavier than either the day before or the day after…always. They all know how crazy this makes us, and as soon as we leave the house after a weigh in day, they are electronically communicating with each other to set up the craziness of how much to drop the weight the next day and what the drastically high weight should be for the next weigh in day – in the case of those old fashioned spring scales I think they must send out their signals by Morris Code.
I think my Dead Scale was a bit kinder than the new scale. It would usually weigh me only a half pound or so higher on Wednesday Weigh ins. Yesterday the new scale said 141.6 this morning it’s 138.9. I’ll miss the courtesy of the old scale.
I wonder if I put it behind a lead shield, or maybe create an aluminum foil “cap” for it…would that keep the evil weight gain signals from getting through to the new scale? Maybe we should bring Mulder and Scully out of retirement to investigate for all of us who’s scale consistently weighs heavy on weigh in day!
FYI, 141.6 yesterday, 138.9 today....with a 70 calorie deficit.