Tuesday, April 05, 2011
I go to bed every night saying when I wake the sun will shine and my life will be just the way it should be. I have another job interview today. It is for the ND museum of art. I love art, would love this job. I think it will be a good day. I got up early jumped in the shower, weighed myself and again I am down another 2 lbs. .
Slowly but surely this weight is coming off. One day all you who wrote me off becuase I got fat, will see, what this girl is made of. It is one thing to always be skinny. But it is another to be skinny get fat then get skinny again. The strenght inside it takes to overcome your bad habits and to resist that donut shows my inner spirt and drive.
I some times wonder why me, why did I have to be "blessed" with this fat gene. My answere now to that question. Because God wanted you to earn empathy for others. I will take my fatness as a learning lesson and make something positive out of it. With this I have learned to never judge.
I once read a book that I reccomend to everyone it is called "Being Happy." In this book it says, the happy person takes every bad situation the universe throws at them and makes it into a learning lesson. This way, it does not make you unhappy, but rather you use it a tool to make life more meaningfull.
I try not to let the world let me down. I know who I am and love who I am. For the first time in my life I have learned to love myself first. Some may say that is selfish, but I figure I can't ever truley love someone, until I first love ME.
Fat or not, I love me. I love me even more lately.
After my dad died about 2 years agao, if gave me a new outlook on life. With this I decided to take the bull by the horns and finallly do what I have wanted to do. I returned to school, changed my lifestyle by eating healthy and excersising, and now I have started on the jouney of becoming a non-smoker.
Before I would always put it off. Not anymore. I am putting me first. I have learned now that I can do anything I set my mind too. No one ever told me this while growing up. Rather, when I had a dream many laufghed at it. Well they can laufgh all the want while I am walking accross that stage to get my law degree, hot, and as a non-smoker.
So this one is to the haters, with
out you, I wouldnt have anyone to prove wrong!!!