Tuesday, April 05, 2011
Hope you're ready for some action, because I'm back. Yes, I've made some not-great choices the past week or so but a) they also weren't as terrible as they would have been 2 months ago and b) the wagon I'm riding doesn't have a seat for "screwed it up a bit so now it's all pointless." That seat is over on the Train to Nowhere and my ticket clearly denies me access to that platform.
I've struggled in the past couple of weeks. There's been an issue at work that has very much stressed me out and left me feeling like I am truly between a rock and a hard place. I hate that feeling more than almost anything else. Can't win for trying and no matter what I do, someone's feelings will be hurt ... not including mine! Life got busy at home with the kids and their school stuff. A very good friend of mine from back in the UK came to visit which has been fantastic, lovely, great ... but it's always so much easier to say "let's take him to ::insert restaurant here:: to eat" instead of cooking. He goes home today. I'll miss him but I'm grateful we had time to reconnect and spend time together for the first time in over 15 years. I made sure I kept drinking water. I tried to make decent food choices the majority of the time. But I refuse, this time, to beat myself up for the not-so-decent. It's done. It's past. I can't change it by whinging, or being depressed, or fixating on every mistake. What is it in Knurlhall's signature line? You can't change the past but you can ruin the present by worrying about the future? Something like that.
So, it's time to get back into the habit of tracking. It's time to start realising I am STILL in a better place than I was on Feb 18th and that even if events conspire to make things hard, I can STILL be successful if I am willing to be flexible in my goals and expectations.
Maybe it's not a wagon I'm on. Maybe it's one of those buses with the concertina wiggly bit in the middle. Flexible. Moving forward, but a little breakdown doesn't mean it's time for the dump.