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    KITHKINCAID   37,471
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Benefit Events and Black Dresses

Tuesday, April 05, 2011

Some of you may recall these pictures I took of myself all dressed up for a benefit event with my theatre company in October of 2010:





I was just down 50 pounds at that point and feeling like a queen. I had received a ton of compliments at the benefit and I was feeling really great.

Flash forward 6 months to tonight and another benefit event. Different black dress, but another overwhelming night of compliments and praise from people who, in some cases, haven't seen me in the last 50 pounds:





In so many ways, I feel like exactly the same person I did (almost) 100 pounds ago, so it surprises me sometimes when people make a huge deal about how much I've changed. I guess the difference this time is that while my body is clearly changing on the outside, who I am on the inside is very much the same and only getting stronger.

There is one person in my life right now who keeps making reference to the fact that I'm "a mere shadow of the person I used to be" - to which my response is - I'm not a shadow at all! Though I know he means it in good spirit, it sounds like such a negative thing - to be only a shadow of your former self. I may be smaller in body, but mightier in essence - there is nothing about ME that is fading away, I can promise you that.

I have said it before that I believe that one of the reasons people struggle with weight is because being big gives us the PLACE in the world that we so desperately need. Physically, we are present because we take up (more) space. When we begin to lose the weight, we need to compensate for that physical space that we're also losing. If your spirit and essence and personality DON'T grow to fill that space, then I don't believe you can be successful at keeping the weight off because you are neglecting yourself and the space every human needs to feel present in the world. The fact that I DON'T feel any different now than I did 50 pounds ago tells me two things: 1 - that I was ready to make the journey in the first place, and 2 - that I have done a good job so far about compensating for my physical loss of space with growth of spirit. With any luck, that will be all I need to see this through to my ideal way of life at a weight that is comfortable and healthy.

But for tonight I will continue to rejoice in my physical accomplishments - cause damn, I DO LOOK GOOD emoticon YAHOO!!!

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KMKILROY 4/18/2011 3:19PM

    You're in inspiration!

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AUBRAZILLA 4/18/2011 12:23PM

    What a cute chin!

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ANDREA963 4/15/2011 10:33AM

    LOOK AT YOU!!! You do look damn hot! Great job woman!!!

Great dress choice. It's beautiful and sexy! emoticon

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AMBERLEIGHM1 4/12/2011 10:04PM

    I came across your blog late but I wanted to congratulate you on losing the 100 lbs and making that important connection with yourself. I view the journey as a complete mind/body/spiritual experience and plan on enjoying it to the fullest. Thanks for sharing your journey. You look fabulous, celebrate and I hope you had a wonderful evening.

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MORELIE 4/9/2011 5:27PM

    You look wonderful! Hey, I have a formal thing next week, can I borrow your dress? :) emoticon I found it very eye opening about people saying "you're a shadow of your former self" when in reality, the real you is growing - you're growing into yourself, who you're supposed to be. Keep up the good work!

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MARINO124 4/8/2011 8:27AM

    Interesting how you explain that we are emptying one aspect of ourselves by physically loosing "space", but in order to keep balance, we need to fill another space of ourselves. This is totally in line with your concept of mind-body connection. And so inspiring! Thanks for the food for thought, yet again! And way to go on your success! Enjoy the compliments, they are well deserved! emoticon

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LEIAFRUMA 4/7/2011 5:55AM

  You look amazing - but what strikes me the most is the sparkly clarity in your eyes! Yay you!

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SNOOKUMS19 4/5/2011 6:45PM

    Enjoy your evening! You look beautiful! emoticon Live, Laugh and Love. I think you are 3 for 3!

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KSTARANNE 4/5/2011 3:40PM

    Congratulations you goregous Thang :)!

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RSADANCINQUEEN 4/5/2011 2:57PM

    Beautiful! Congratulations!!
:D

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SHELLEY202 4/5/2011 2:07PM

    Way to go!!!!!

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MOMMASCAR 4/5/2011 2:06PM

    You have a beautiful spirit!! (and you look great in your new black dress!). Congratulations on your continued progress. Your success is so much more than numbers on a scale. Realizing your worth and coming to that place where you are happy in your skin......that is where it's at!

emoticon

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LVCYHONEYCHURCH 4/5/2011 1:41PM

    You have so much to be proud of in mind and body!

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LAURIETAIT 4/5/2011 1:41PM

    You look terrific and really confident and at home in your skin. You rock!

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LMLOPEZ 4/5/2011 1:24PM

    Jen, you look fabulous and you even look like you feel more comfortable and confident. For your next dress you need some pops of color so you shine even brighter!!!
emoticon

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TEENY_BIKINI 4/5/2011 12:59PM

    "I have said it before that I believe that one of the reasons people struggle with weight is because being big gives us the PLACE in the world that we so desperately need."

WOW! I never thought of it that way - but it is very thought-provoking. I love when you share you insights :)

You look beautiful, btw. Cheers.

emoticon

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MANLEYSANDY 4/5/2011 12:55PM

    Gorgeous!

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JENJESS48 4/5/2011 11:03AM

    You are sooo gorgeous! Congrats on all the compliments - you've earned them.

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LOTUSFLOWER 4/5/2011 10:11AM

    Jenn, my beautiful friend!! You look beautiful, radiant, and your presence has totally changed. But yes, you are still YOU on the inside and you are amazing. emoticon

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KATYMACK 4/5/2011 10:08AM

    Amazing. You have such a beautiful glow.

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FREECANDY 4/5/2011 10:01AM

    You look amazing!

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THEAPPLESASS 4/5/2011 9:54AM

  your curves look soooo hot! seriously- you look gorgeous! have a great night!!!

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KT-NICHOLS-13 4/5/2011 9:45AM

    You look amazing, even your body language has even changed.

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CHICAT63 4/5/2011 9:35AM

    Woohoo, you look absolutely radiant !!!!

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PAMEDEN 4/5/2011 9:25AM

    Wow!! You look great! Well done, hope you enjoyed your evening.

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SLFRISBEY 4/5/2011 8:45AM

    Looking good!!! I love your confidence! You're a total rock star, don't ever forget it!

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REDHEADMOM2U 4/5/2011 8:26AM

    Awesome job!

I agree with the space thing...although I used my space as a reason to be distant...as I lose I have to compensate by being more outgoing...

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NEWYORKORCHIDS 4/5/2011 7:28AM

  You look fantastic!

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-POOKIE- 4/5/2011 6:35AM

    Yes, you look damn good!!

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