I am really feeling back to my old self these past few days. I feel like I can do it this time. I do not have this sense of what is the use, I am only going to fail and eat something I shouldn't. I feel in control. It feels so awesome to feel this way and I am afraid to lose this feeling. I don't want it to go away. I know it has in the past, that is why I am here today.

I am going to do this one day at a time. I am not going to let the fear of failure take over. Little voices hear me now. I am in control. I decide what I will eat, I will decide that I can do this. You are not going to try and convince me otherwise! You had your chances far too many times, game over, I am the winner!

I know what I need to do and I am doing it. I also know that there will be challenges, there will be days when I don't want to walk, or go to the gym or make another salad to eat. And yes, the chocolate will beckon and it will win, I love my chocolate. The wine will sing to me and I will willingly drink it, but that is fine. I can live with that because it is real life. It is how I will be living for the rest of my life so I have to learn how to make it work into my plan. I have to learn how to ration it so that it does not become an excuse to give in and just say "What the h-e-double hockey sticks may as well just cram it all in!" This is the way I will be living until I feel I am at a healthy weight and I feel satisfied.