Where have I been this month? There is a lot on my heart!
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Where have I been? I was on sparkpeople everyday for almost 3 months and then this month I disappeared! There are a number of factors to this but I am trying not to use them as an excuse. That is not what I want to do by blogging but I do want to vent!
First, my dj/karaoke company came to an end on Saturday. It was planned. I have known it was going to happen for about a month. When the day came I had mixed emotions. I was sad, because I had been singing with my partner since I was 21. That is 9 years of my life. She was a good friend. However, the bar that we were at ( twice a week for the last year and a few months) was horrible. The owner's boyfriend was a drunk jerk every time, treated us like crap, and was so rude that our groupies stopped coming and he blamed us. Ugh! He had stepped all over me for that time, once yelling at me that I was stupid because I couldn't understand his drunken rambling. Saturday night (after working there Wed through Sat for the national horse sale crowd that was in town) he got up on stage and talked into our mic for the first time. I had just told all of our groupies that showed up for our last show (more than 40 people were able to make it) how much their support and friendship has meant to us. I thought he was going to be nice and say Thank you to us for our time there. OH NO, That is so not what happened. He was drunk of course, like always! He got up and made it look like he had fired us! "These guys behind me don't work here anymore. They are not coming back. We are trying to get (some other company) for karaoke." and then got down. We were pissed! After all of that time I finally stood up for myself. After we were all packed up (about 15 minutes later), my husband Tony went up to the bar and told him unprofessional it was to plug another company on our equipment. The guy, Steve, freaked out, swearing and threw him out of the bar. I went to the bar to wait for the check and he yelled at me too. I told him I hadn't said anything and he said "yap yap yap... that is all you are doing" I looked at him like he was nuts and said "Steve, you are the only person talking! Do you hear yourself." I got thrown out too. I told him that was fine because I really hadn't planned on coming back because of how we were treated there. He swore some more and I left. That was really irritating. We never had ill will towards the bar owner Julie because of what he had said but my husband went up and said something very calmly and he took it out on me. Awesome! I didn't sleep for quite a few hours after that. I am non confrontational and it makes me shake to yell. I was glad I did it though. I was so tired of being pushed around!
On to the next thing weighing on me... (no pun intended)
My partner had told me that she wanted to dissolve the company so that she could spend more time with her family. However, in the last week her and her husband have been advertising like crazy for a new company (possibly the same company mentioned when Steve talked on Saturday. I haven't figured that out yet) To me... it looks like they just wanted me out! I don't know what I did but I do feel very strongly that I did nothing that would warrant lying to me about the reason for wanting out. It hurt my feelings that she wanted to end the company. We discussed splitting equipment so that I could still do karaoke and dj as I wanted to and so she could dj family stuff and occasional weddings but no karaoke. Then on monday her husband had already started advertising online and has business cards already. Seems like it has been something they were going to do for awhile. I feel betrayed. I have always been honest about how I felt about things and I have always been professional in how I deal with everyone.... except for Saturday night... which was a long time coming! It hurt more to be lied to about their reasons for doing things than if they would have just come out and said we would like to go out on our own! I thought we were friends. I told one of my friends yesterday, I dont care if I never do another show again, I just cared about my friendship with her. Apparently, I was the only one. It hurts to loose a business and a friend all in one day. Ugh! We still have to go through the equipment and split it up. As soon as it is over I will be glad. I dont want the drama anymore.... I wanted my friend back. Or so I thought!
Have you read enough yet?
Well, through the last few weeks I was very stressed out as you can imagine. Somehow I managed to loose weight though. I am now 26.5 pounds down from my starting weight. I am not exactly where I wanted to be but a loss is a loss! I Can't hate on myself for that! If these things would have happened a few years ago I would have gained a ton of weight on it! Blah. Thank goodness I am at least making some good choices.
Today I am a little stressed out. I had daycare kids at 6:30 this morning and the last one will leave at 9:30 tonight. I would really like a break but tonight is the night I work at the thrift store. I will be there from 3:30-7:30. My husband will have our little friend James. It is my friend's birthday though so we will be going out to eat after with him and James. (James' parents are our friends and both have to work tonight. We wouldn't take just any kid with us.... just to clarify) I hope I sleep tonight! I haven't been sleeping well for the last 2 weeks.
On a plus side, Tony and I are working on our karaoke company that we had already discussed with my partner when she decided to leave. We decided to call it T-n-T DJ&Karaoke Services. It will be fun to be my own boss. Even though I co-owned JT Entertainment, I was still her employee as she saw it. She did the bookings, told me where to go and even wrote me a paycheck. She always just assumed she was better than me and I wasn't fit to co-anything. Her husband was the co-........ I wonder why I was even needed at all in the beginning?
I have a daycare baby about to wake up so I had better sweep. I hope no one died of boredom while reading about my drama. I can't wait for the sunshine and rainbows that will come out someday in this life!