Tuesday, March 29, 2011
I think most things, whether working or working out, require the slightest bit of motivation to get you going. Right now, I'm typing this blog to try and find the motivation to start my work day, but I've been having trouble finding motivation in all aspects of my life lately. It's not that things aren't great - they are! But I can't find any motivation to kick-start my diet/exercise routine.
What motivates you? It's CRAZY what HASN'T motivated me yet. You'd think any one of these things let alone the combination would get me serious about being healthy and active and yet I spend my nights playing on my ipad on the couch watching Biggest Loser thinking, "Man, I really should work out."
List of things that haven't motivated me yet (despite all odds):
-Gaining 25 pounds in a year
-Getting stuck in a dress at the mall
-Going up 3 sizes
-A closet full of (expensive!) clothes I can't even begin to put on any more
-$100 prize in a biggest loser contest between me and my mom
-Buying a new bikini (and swimsuit shopping in general)
-My boyfriend mentioning how fat Mandy Moore's arms looked on HIMYM (and thinking mine were far worse)
-Buying all sorts of "diety" foods
-Staring at myself naked in the mirror
-Trying on shorts (or anything for that matter)
-Realizing I might have to go up a bra size??? (something I've yet to try)
-Being daily berated by wiifit
-Breaking my scale
-Changing my entire wardrobe to leggings (because they're stretchy!)
The list goes on and on. I've substituted buying clothes with buying shoes (they always fit!) and when I do buy clothes, I try not to get anything too expensive because, hey, I won't always be this big!
But seriously...is that true?
At what point do you just give up and say, Hey, I guess I'm this heavy now. Sure, none of those size 2 pants fit in my closet any more, I'll just be a size 8 or 10 now! I've bought new jeans to fit my new body, and I've started sizing up in shirts even (thanks to enormoboobs that have taken over the top half of my body). All of my clothes that actually fit are hanging on a rolling rack outside of my closet, with everything inside being questionably small.
So this blog comes to you in two parts - is there ever a time that you just accept your size? I haven't had any babies or anything, so I feel like it's not time for me to let go of how I used to be. And when I say "used to" let's remember that that was literally a year ago. Two years of unemployment has sent me on a downward spiral of pound packing. So if we agree it's not my time yet...that brings me to my second question.
WHAT IS YOUR MOTIVATION?
Goodness knows, if getting stuck in a dress at the mall and panicking, thinking you might have to call a sales associate or text a friend to bring in the jaws of life to get you out of there doesn't make some bells go off, I'm not sure what will. All I can think about is summer and laying by the pool and wearing my favorite khaki pants and fitting perfectly back into all of my beautiful sundresses from the Limited, but even that hasn't motivated me enough to get my butt moving.
What did it take for you to finally decide enough was enough? I've been doing this half-heartedly for so long. Is it just cracking down, finding the motivation from within, and then finally seeing results? I'm starting to realize two days of slimfast and one yoga session isn't going to make a big impact, but what's it gonna take? Maybe if I pay my boyfriend $50 every week I don't lose. Maybe if I have to give a favorite pair of shoes to charity. Maybe if I make my goal in 3 months I can get a pug. I have no idea what it's going to take but I need to find out. Soon.